Mrs. Beckett said, “Excuse me, what?”
At the same time, Lena said, “Are you fuckingkidding?”
Mr. Beckett said, “What is she talking about, Miles?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Beckett.” Bree sounded practiced. “But, unfortunately, my cousin had to drop out due to an unforeseen illness. Fortunately for us, Ryder understood and offered to drop out as well to keep the numbers even. I’ve been in talks with a major brand for sponsorship, and they’reverypicky, so I doubt talks would move forward if even the slightest thing were off. And something like an unbalanced bridal party would just have been a non-starter.” Bree ended with a beaming smile.
She was lying, right through her pearly white teeth. I was in the car when Ryder got the call, kicking him out. I saw how devastated he was. Then how quickly he pushed it aside. Something he was always telling me not to do.
“I don’t believe that for a goddamn second,” Lena said, firing up.
“Miles, is that true?” Mrs. Beckett asked.
Miles was pale, but otherwise normal. “Yeah, Mom. It is. He did us a huge favor.”
“He would’ve told us. He would’ve toldme.” Lena was getting more upset.
Bree said, “You’re free to call him if—”
“His phone’s off. No one can reach him!”
Bree’s brow went up, and she shrugged. “Well, he’s not needed here, and we only have the space until five. So if there aren’t any more questions, can we begin?”
The Becketts looked at each other. Mr. Beckett nodded, but Lena was red-faced. He wrapped an arm around her, saying, “It’s okay, we’ll talk later.”
“Great,” Bree said, glowing. “We’ll need the grandparents up first, please.”
I wasn't thinking about stuff. Not about Ryder. Not about how those people who I loved, like my own family—sometimes more—laughed at me for years. Not about my sexuality, and how I was ready to come out to everyone for him.
But also not about Miles. How he stood up there and lied to all his friends and family about his brother, who loved him so much and was so hurt by what he did. I was the only one who knew the truth, besides Ryder and the couple. But no one knew I did because no one knew Ryder and me—
No. Nope. Not doing that. Take rings. Give rings. Eat. Sleep. That’s it. That’s all.
Chapter Twenty
Finn
The rehearsal dinner had three parts. A small cocktail hour followed by the dinner, where her parents made speeches, but Miles’s didn’t. Then dessert, which was the wedding party hanging out by the bar, while the rest of their gathered families left.
It had been easy enough to avoid Miles most of the night. The few times he came up to talk to me, I gave him one-word answers. He got the hint and left me alone. I had nothing to say to him, and if forced to, it wouldn’t have ended well.
Bree, though… She kept talking to me. I pulled the same shit with her, one-word answers and trying to look disinterested. But during the little cocktail hour thing, I was standing near Bree when Mrs. Beckett came up to me and asked, “You still haven’t heard from Ryder, have you? If he’s not here soon, he’ll miss dinner.”
I’d never seen such dark bags under her eyes. I quashed the pang of worry in my gut. He was fine. And I didn’t care.
“No. Sorry, Mrs. Beckett. I’d be the last person he’d reach out to, if he did.”
She gave me a tight nod and walked away. I wasn't stupid. Ryder wasn’t there because he didn’t want to face me. But I wouldn’t tell her that and confirm all the stuff they’d apparently said about me over the last decade plus. No way. Fuck that, and fuck him. And really? Fuck all of them.
It was probably all Lena’s doing. I could see her teasing her brothers about it, and her dad telling her to stop. Miles would get pissed and say not everyone is gay. Then Ryder would get snappy like,Maybe not everyone, but he is. Their dad would say,That’s not nice, and their mom would ask,Why isn’t it nice? Is being gay bad?Which would make their dad stumble, say,Of course not, but he didn’t think I was gay.
I wasn't there any of the nights they talked about it, but I was for many, many others. That’s how they talked. I don’t gamble, but I’d bet my entire life’s worth that it went down like that, or pretty fucking close.
They didn’t even laugh in my little nightmare. But to be the topic of conversation to a group of people who I genuinely loved, about something so intimate that I didn’t even understand at the time… Fuck that hurt.
Bree said, “I know, right?”
“Huh?”
