When she didn’t crack a smile, I stilled my expression so she would know that I was serious. “You can’t prepare for everything life throws at you.” I leaned forward, hoping to catch her gaze. “That’s why you rely on other people.”
She studied me before she began to shake her head. “I can’t rely on other people. I need to…” Her voice drifted off, and I could see the war raging inside of her. Then she sighed and started putting on the baby carrier.
I wanted to tell her that I understood. I understood the desire to be perfect, and I equally understood the frustration of realizing that you can’t control everything. It’s not a fun place to be. Which was why I’d learned to let go of all expectations. There was very little in this world that I could control, so I’d stopped worrying about it.
“Sabrina, I?—”
“Let’s get you back,” she said as she reached out and wrapped her hands around Samuel’s chest. “I’m sure people are missing you right now.”
“I don’t care about those people,” I said as she lifted Samuel out of my arms.
She shook her head and started feeding Samuel’s legs into the carrier. “That’s not true. This is your job. This is your life. This is what you love.”
I dared her to look up at me. I needed her to see that I wanted to be here with her. That I didn’t care about the people in the other room. I wanted to take care of her. I wanted to be the person she could rely on. I wanted her to let me love her.
But she never met my gaze. Instead, she finished securing the buckles of the carrier and then pulled the strap of the diaper bag up onto her shoulder. When she turned around, she met my gaze briefly with a quick smile and then made her way to the door and pulled it open.
“I’m sure Katie’s waiting for you,” she said as she held the door for me.
I studied her for a moment. I wasn’t finished with our conversation, but she so obviously was. I wanted to pull her back into the little bathroom and tell her everything I was thinking and feeling, but I doubted she would appreciate that. I could feel her keeping her distance. If I let slip how I felt, she was going to leave me. And that was the last thing I wanted.
If I couldn’t have her like I wanted, then I was going to settle for keeping her close so I could take care of her. It was the least I could do.
I just stood there as she waited, holding the door for me. I kept my gaze on her, hoping she would look back at me. That I would see a glimmer of feeling in her gaze that reflected my own.
“There you are.”
Katie’s exasperated voice filled the room, causing both Sabrina and me to turn in her direction. Katie was standing in the doorway, with her cheeks flushed and her gaze wild as her attention shifted between me and Sabrina.
“I’ve been looking all over for you,” she said, her voice hesitant as she took a step closer. “Am I…am I interrupting something?” she asked.
“Nope,” Sabrina said before I could answer.
Katie’s gaze drifted down to my bare chest and then over to my shirt, expertly worn by Sabrina. She quirked an eyebrow as she turned her attention back to me. “We’re at an event,” she said, her voice low and accusatory.
“Oh my gosh, no,” Sabrina said, desperation in her voice. “That did not…I mean, we didn’t…” She closed her eyes briefly and pinched her lips. Her cheeks were bright red. Katie and I waited for her to compose herself. “Samuel pooped all over me, and Liam offered me his shirt. That is all.” She waved at me. “Liam is just my boss.”
Those words sliced through my chest and landed in my heart like a dagger. I was just her boss. That was it. That was the only way she saw me. That was the only way she was ever going to see me.
I was the stupid person in our relationship who’d allowed his feelings to run wild.
“See,” I said as I stepped up next to Sabrina. I wasn’t touching her, but I was close enough to feel her warmth, and, god, I wanted to bask in it. I wanted to just be close to her. She made me feel safe. She made me feel seen. And I never wanted her to leave. “Just a boss taking care of his assistant.”
Sabrina tipped her head up and met my gaze. She held it for a moment before she nodded. “Yep.”
Katie glanced between us. I could tell she was skeptical, but, thankfully, she didn’t push the issue further. Instead, she stepped into the bathroom and hooked arms with me.
“Great. Glad that’s taken care of. Now, I have someone I need you to meet.”
I didn’t want to go with her, but I knew staying here was futile. No matter how much I wanted to be a part of Sabrina’s life, in more ways than one, it didn’t matter.
I would always be just her boss, and she was always going to be nothing more than my assistant.
It didn’t matter that I wanted that to change. That I wanted us to be something more.
That’s not the way Sabrina saw things. It was not what Sabrina wanted.
And I was born to give that woman everything she desired.
