Sawyer had made it very clear a long time ago that he wasn’t interested in being friends anymore. He’d never approved of Katie and told me she would ruin my life if I stayed with her. Little did he know how right he’d been. My life had been a shit show ever since I let that woman into it.
“Liam, can we talk?”
His voice was close, like he was standing right behind me. I knew I should turn around, but I was at war with myself. The last thing I needed was a pep talk from a guy who used to be my friend. A guy who’d grown up with me. Who knew my mom. Who’d been there when she passed.
But there was also a part of me. A teeny, tiny part of me that was curious why he was here. He didn’t sound annoyed or mad. He sounded concerned.
Finally, the desire to know why he was here won out, and I turned to look at him.
“What do you want, Sawyer?”
His expression was unreadable. It was almost apologetic, but that didn’t seem right. What did he have to be sorry for? Unless, he felt sorry for me. Frustration rose up in my chest. Pity was not what I needed in this moment. I was already down. I didn’t need him kicking me as well.
If that was what he was here for, he could just leave. I already felt like dog shit without his help.
He held up his hands. “Listen, I’m worried about you.”
I scoffed and turned back toward the couch. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be onstage tonight, rip-roaring and ready to go.” I didn’t hold back on the sarcasm.
I thought that would be the end of our conversation. That I’d done enough to tell him I had every intention of fulfilling my contract, but also, to get the hell out of my dressing room.
Apparently, it hadn’t landed. Instead of leaving, he sighed, and the squeaking sound of the vanity chair being pulled across the floor startled me. I flipped to my other side so I could stare at him.
“What the…” I frowned as I watched Sawyer set up the chair a few feet away from the couch and sit down.
I sighed as I pushed myself up to a sitting position. “Apparently, you lack the ability to take a hint.” I leaned back against the couch and folded my arms. We were having this conversation if I wanted to or not. I forced a smile as I turned my attention to him. “What’s up?”
He studied me. His expression was stoic, which just pissed me off even more. He’d barged in here uninvited, and now he was content to just sit there, staring at me.
“Where’d Katie go?”
I blinked, not expecting him to ask that. I shrugged. “Back to Florida, I guess.” I frowned. “Apparently, she’d succeeded in running off the only woman I’ve cared about since her. She went home after a job well done.”
The sarcasm was dripping now. I knew I should pull back, that my situation wasn’t Sawyer’s fault, but I didn’t. He was insisting that he stay and talk to me. He shouldn’t have poked me if he wasn’t willing to get bit.
Sawyer studied me with a curious expression. I could tell that he had questions but was choosing his words wisely. Which was probably a good idea. With how I was feeling, I wasn’t sure how I would respond to questions that probed too deep.
“How long have we known each other?” His words came out slow and methodical.
I stared at him. Was he serious? He was bothering me for, what, a trip down memory lane? “I don’t know.” I paused as I tried to do the mental math of subtracting how old I was in second grade from how old I was now. I landed on, “A long time,” because I was tired and the real answer required way too much thinking.
“Since second grade,” he said. “I know you when you’re happy. I know you when you’re mad. I know you when you’re piss drunk and making stupid decisions.” He leaned back and folded his arms across his chest. “I thought I knew who you were around women…” He paused as his gaze bored into mine. “But I’ve never seen you be the kind of guy you were with your assistant…Sabrina?”
I let out a groan as I tipped my head forward and let it fall into my open hand. This was not the conversation I wanted to have. Talk to me about how I was a crappy dad to Ana, that was on the table. Tell me I was an idiot for letting Katie into my life not once, but twice—sure, I’d take that. Scold me for missing a step in choreography that I’ve practiced a million times over, that I could handle.
But he couldn’t talk to me about Sabrina. Couldn’t tell me that I made a mistake letting her go. I regretted walking out of that hotel room every second since I left. I wanted nothing more than to board the plane, fly to Harmony, and beg on my knees for that woman to take me back.
But I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t let her back into my life. I couldn’t let her believe that we could be anything. When I was around her, she wasn’t safe. She deserved a man who would love her and protect her. I couldn’t do that.
“Where are you going with this?” I asked. I didn’t hide the you better watch yourself tone to my voice.
Sawyer lifted his hands in surrender. “Listen, I’m just trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, here. You obviously love the woman. Why did you let her go?”
I glared at him. He was an idiot if he thought that I was in this situation because I’d wanted any of this.
“Case in point,” he said as he stuck out his hand and waved it in front of my body.
I flopped back against the couch. I rubbed my eyes before I pinched the bridge of my nose. “What do you want from me?” I dropped my hand and returned my gaze to him. “Just leave me alone,” I begged. I didn’t want to talk about Sabrina because talking about her got me thinking. And thinking begged for action. And action went against everything I’d sworn I wouldn’t do.
