As someonewith a perpetually broken heart, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. If giving up dance made my mom truly happy, then I’d do it. I would walk away.
I’d put on a smile and cheer on the other dancers as they tried out. I’d be supportive as they got opportunities I only dreamed of.
In the end, dancing was just that. A dream I could never make a reality.
It was time I started accepting that. Before a lot of the people I cared about got hurt.
Before I started down a path I couldn’t come back from.
I was at a crossroads and I needed to make the right decision. Even if it broke my entire soul to accept my fate, I was going to accept that Juilliard and I would never be.
I loved my mom too much to perpetuate this fantasy.
THIRTEEN
ETHAN
I hated that I was nervous as I drove to the academy after school on Monday. It was the first time I was going to see Collette after our kiss and I was supposed to play it cool.
And I was. I was the cool guy.
But not anymore. Things with Collette had changed and I was fairly certain that it wasn’t going to go back. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that things could be the same, it wasn’t possible.
We were definitely more than friends. But I couldn’t think like that. If I did, I’d lose her. I was still uncertain as to why. Collette was a puzzle I was determined to figure out if it killed me.
When you had something as great as Collette, you worked hard for it. And like my dad always said, Morrison’s weren’t quitters. And I wasn’t going to start now.
Even so, I was starting to second guess what I’d set inmotion. I mean, there were grand gestures and then there were epic fails, and I was starting to worry that the surprise I’d planned for today would be the latter.
I gripped the steering wheel long after I parked, giving myself the sort of inner pep talk I gave myself before a game.
After I parked my car and crossed the street, I took the front steps two at a time. I straightened my duffle bag on my shoulder as I moved to pull open the front door.
“Oh good. You’re here.”
Olivia’s voice startled me. I yelped and turned to see her familiar dark eyes and curly black hair. She had a sucker in her mouth and her eyebrows were raised as she ran her gaze over me.
I liked Olivia but she scared me.
“Hey,” I said. “How’s it going?”
She waved away my lame attempt at small-talk and grabbed my arm as she pulled me to the side. “We need to talk.”
I moved to follow her. As soon as we were around the building, she turned and poked my shoulder. “Why did you kiss Collette?” she asked and then folded her arms. She looked like a teacher punishing a student.
Not sure what I was supposed to say, I shoved my hands into the front pockets of my jeans and shrugged. “It felt like the right thing to do at the time.” That made me sound like a prick and from her raisedeyebrows, Olivia agreed.
I sighed and raised my hand to run it through my hair and down to my neck. “Why do you think?” I held her gaze so she could feel how serious I was about Collette.
Olivia narrowed her eyes. “Hmm, that’s what I thought.”
I felt exposed and raw that Olivia now knew this about me. About us. “Did Collette tell you?” Did I dare hope that Collette might have talked about this with Olivia? That maybe it meant more to her than she was letting on.
Olivia snorted. “We’re best friends, so, yeah. She told me.”
I swallowed as I tried to push down the fear that had crept up inside of me. I didn’t know how to read Olivia and I hated this feeling of limbo.
She must have seen my fear because a moment later, she sighed and waved her hand at me. “Don’t worry, she likes you too.” Olivia tapped her chin like she was thinking.
