I couldn’t fight the smile that emerged on my lips. My heart was pounding in my chest and I felt like I was about to float away. Collettedidlike me. I knew it. And she liked me enough to tell her friend.
See? This would all work out. I’d show her how I felt, I’d prove to her that I was there for her, and then I’d kiss her until she forgot all about whatever hangups she was holding onto to push me away.
“She said that?” I asked, hoping that I didn’t sound too eager. “She told you she liked me?”
Olivia blinked a few times as if she were returning to the present. She shook her head. “Collette didn’t need to say anything. I know my friend. She likes you.”
Well that took some of the wind out of my sales. I’d rather hear that Collette couldn’t stop talking about me. But it appeared that she was just as tight-lipped with Olivia as she was with me.
Maybe I was moving too quickly…again. Maybe she needed more time. Maybe I shouldn’t try to push her into something she’s not ready for…
I needed to see Collette and I needed to see her now. If I didn’t, these doubts would be the death of me.
I had a plan, now I had to see it through.
It was too late for second guessing. I’d taken two steps toward the studio when Olivia stopped me.
“Why are you walking away from me?” she asked. With a smirk, she added, “Do I make you nervous?”
I nodded. “A little bit, yeah.”
She smiled. “Good. Then you know I could destroy you if you hurt my friend.”
“I’m not going to hurt Collette,” I said. She had to know that.
She narrowed her eyes and then nodded. “I believe you. Or, at least…” She stopped as though she were considering her next words carefully. “I don’t think you’dintentionallyhurt her.”
Her words made me wince. I didn’t want to hurt Collette…period. Intentionally or otherwise.
“Look,” Olivia said as she crossed her arms. “I know Collette seems strong and she acts like nothing bothers her, but she’s not…unbreakable.”
I nodded, my heart in my throat as I thought of the look in her eyes before she’d run away. It had taken me a little while to figure it out, but the more I’d replayed that entire incident, the more I’d seen the truth behind her actions.
It wasn’t me she’d been scared of, it was herself.
It was the same look she got when she talked about her dreams of dancing—this sort of bittersweet longing. It was the look of wanting something you know you can’t have.
I had to believe she felt this connection between us. I had to trust that she wanted it too.
Otherwise…
I swallowed down a tidal wave of fear. Well, otherwise I was about to have my heart handed to me on a plate.
Olivia shifted, her eyes darting away guiltily. “She has these insecurities…” she started. “Between her mother and being raised in this world…” She shook her head as she trailed off, clearly at a loss for words.
“I know,” I said.
Olivia’s gaze darted back to mine, her eyes widening in surprise.
“I get it,” I said.
She studied me for a while, like she could read something in my eyes. Whatever she saw there, she seemed tocome to some sort of conclusion. With a short nod, she said, “Yeah, I guess maybe you do.”
The thing was I did get it. I mean, I didn’t fully understand Collette’s body issues, because those just seemed crazy to me, but I understood living in a parent’s shadow. I got how hard it was to figure out who you really were when you spent most of your life living up to expectations—or living down to expectations, as the case may be.
I understood how hard it was to find yourself when everyone around you looked at you like they already knew exactly who you were.
I also knew that Collette had helped me figure out who I was—or at least, who I wanted to be. And I wanted to be the guy who did the same for her.
