Not surprisingly. I couldn’t imagine my dad had spent much time at dance academies over the years.
My mother followed him in, looking stiff and stoic with her chin held high as she too took in the sight of all these girls. They spotted me before I could cover my surprise and in a few strides they were standing next to me as I scrambled to my feet.
Ryan nudged my arm again. “I’d better grab a spot in the audience. Make me proud, man.”
He headed toward the door with a nod and smile for my parents and a ‘break a leg, princess’ for Bianca.
I was pretty sure I heard her snarl in return but I was too busy eyeing my parents. “What are you guys doing here?”
They exchanged a look as I held my breath. Sure, I’d been the one to tell them about this audition and yeah, I’d invited them. But I hadn’t actually thought they’d come. And now I had to wonder why they were here…was it to support me or to try and talk some sense into me?
My father cleared his throat. “Your mother and I have been talking…”
My mom gave me a little smile which eased some of the tension that had been building.
“We heard what you were saying,” my father said, his voice so stiff it made him sound almost…nervous. “And we agree that perhaps you have a valid point.”
My brows shot up in surprise.
“We’ve only ever wanted what was best for you,” my mother said, her voice quiet and filled with a plea.
I nodded. “I know that.”
Her smile was filled with gratitude, like she was worried I was going to yell at her or something.
“I understand you wanted the best for me,” I continued, my own voice just as stiff as my father’s because this was totally new territoryfor me. For us. My family never talked openly like this and doing it here, now…it was as awkward as it got. “But what you need to understand is that what’s best for me might not always be what you envision.”
My father’s jaw was clenched tight and I waited for him to start arguing. When he didn’t, I pressed on. “What I need you to understand is that I want to make you proud. I do. But more than that I have to make myself proud.”
I dipped my head to look down at the guitar. “I’m not sure yet what my future will hold, but I do know that I need the freedom to figure it out.”
The silence that followed nearly crushed me with its weight.
When my father spoke I lifted my head to meet his gaze head on. “You’re right.” He cleared his throat again, a nervous tic I’d never seen before. “I raised you to be a leader, and that means making your own choices.”
His jaw was still tight, his body too rigid. I could see what it took for him to say those words and relief swept over me, lightening some of the weight that had been crushing me. “Thanks,” I said. “I appreciate that.”
He looked away and then back to me. “I know I’m not always the best father, but I hope you know that I…” He cleared his throat. “That I love you.”
He muttered it under his breath and quickly, like it was an embarrassing admission and that made me fight a laugh. “I know,” I said. “And I love you too.”I looked to my mom. “Both of you.”
My father looked away again, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’m not sure how to be the kind of father you deserve.”
My heart clenched painfully in my chest at the raw admission. What Ryan said came back to me and I found myself repeating his words. “You showed up,” I said. “That’s a start.”
He gave me a wan smile before nodding toward the door. “I guess we’ll go find ourselves a seat, huh?”
I nodded. “Yeah, that would be…nice.”
They walked away and I had one moment of peace before a woman I didn’t recognize walked in with a clipboard. “Ethan Morrison, you’re up!”
“Good luck, Ethan.” The normally quiet Eve shouted it from the other side of the room and I shot her a quick smile of gratitude as I headed toward the woman with the clipboard, guitar in hand…ready to make a fool of myself in front of my parents, Ryan, and a handful of Juilliard elite.
Awesome.
As the woman led me down the hall toward the auditorium, I cast one last look around for Collette, hating the disappointment that made me want to run out of here and never look back.
I couldn’t do that because I’d made a promise. I’d told her I’d be here, that I’d play the guitar on this stage no matter what. I’d given my word and I’d see it through—I owed her that much.
