“I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you. I wanted to. I almost did, the day I saw you inBitches Brewwith Athena and my book. But you seemed a bit…”
“Pissed? Embarrassed?”
“Yes?” I take another bite and let her process the information.
“You know you’re my favorite author, right?”
Warmth spreads through my entire body at her compliment. It’s hard to believe I’m anyone’s favorite author, but my girlfriend’s? That’s pretty fucking special. Not least of all considering the fact I’m not all that well known yet.
“Given how much you read, that’s a huge compliment.”
“Does the team not know? Is that why you didn’t tell me? You’re embarrassed?”
I half snort, half choke on my mouthful of deliciousness. “No. Not embarrassed. My brothers all know. My parents know. I mean, it’s not public knowledge by any means, but some people know. I just…honestly, I have no reason why I didn’t tell you about it. There just didn’t seem to be a good time, and I didn’t want to make it a thing.”
She chews in silence for another moment or two. “I’m a little butt hurt you didn’t think you could trust me with that kind of information yet, or that you didn’t make time to tell me. But I love your books. Big love. You’re so fucking talented, Justin. I have every book you’ve written since you started.” She levels me with a hard stare. “You’re going to have to sign them all for me.”
The laugh that escapes me unwinds some of the tension in my shoulders. “I can definitely manage that. So you’re not mad I didn’t tell you?”
She shakes her head before picking up another triangle of sandwich. “Not as mad as I am that you called my parents.” She takes a bite, and there’s that stare again.
My stomach clenches, and suddenly the idea of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches is a terrible one.
“It wasn’t for you to decide that I needed my parents.” She bites again, her tongue darting out to pick up the tiny droplet of jelly at the corner of her mouth. “Even if I did need them. I know I didn’t come right out and forbid you from calling them, but I feel like I was pretty clear. And you knew I’d be pissed.”
I’m already scrubbing at my neck with my palm. She’s not wrong. It’s not my place to decide what’s right for her, even if I think she’s being an idiot.
Just as I open my mouth to apologize again, she holds up a hand. “I’m glad you called them though. I might be pissed as hell at them for keeping my adoption a secret all these years, but I’m happy they were here for the procedure.”
She definitely didn’t seem like she was happy they were here.
She smiles like she knows what I’m thinking. “Even if it didn’t seem like it. It was nice having them around.” She puts her sandwich back onto the plate and turns sad eyes my direction. Fuck. I’m a goner. Whatever she’s about to ask me for, she can have it. Bone marrow, my right lung, my still beating heart for a transplant, it’s hers. She can take whatever she needs from me.
“I just need you in my corner. I don’t want to have to worry that if I ask you to do, or not do something, you’re going to go behind my back and do the exact opposite. I need to be able to trust you, Justin.”
And there it is.
The root of all our problems. She still doesn’t trust me.
“I never cheated on Molly.” I hold her gaze but put the remnants of my food onto the plate and set it aside. “I know what it looked like. But I didn’t. I saw that girl crying in Applebee’s and sat down next to her. I tried to console her, talk to her, to see what was wrong with her. I swear to God, Vannah, she just pounced on me right at the minute the Morrisons walked into that restaurant.”
Her jaw drops and her eyes widen. “Why did you never say anything?”
I shrug, my collar suddenly feeling tight and my skin hot. “I tried, but no one ever gave me the chance. One minute this stranger was macking on me, the next I was being dragged outside and getting my shit kicked in by O’Brien. Add in the term paper scandal and…” I just shrug again. There’s nothing much else to say.
“Did you…?” She doesn’t finish the sentence, and she doesn’t meet my stare either, but the accusation is heavy in the air between us.
“No!” I capture her chin and make her look at me. “I never cheated. Not on my test, not on Molly. I know. I know.” I rake my hands through my hair. “I know everyone said I did. They assumed the worst in me. Even,” I swallow like there’s broken glass in the back of my throat. “Even my own dad didn’t believe me.”
Tears well up inside me as I try to push down those memories, those feelings bubbling in my veins. “Just because no one believed me, doesn’t mean I’m not telling the truth.”
She cups my face with both hands. “Oh, Justin!” Her eyes are glassy, too. “I can’t believe you just let me…let me…” She slaps both hands across her mouth like she can’t bear to say it out loud.
“Hate me?”
She nods. “Because of alie!”
I hold up two fingers. “Two lies.” I’m being flippant, but we both know it’s not at all funny.
