Since we moved, hisGet Litbook club has continued in his absence. Frieda reports in every month fromThe Book Binto gleefully tell him that the book club has grown, or they’ve added another meet up for a new book she can’t wait to talk about.
Frieda texts, demanding an in person appearance in The Bin to celebrate his new status as a bestselling author. She says we’ll have cupcakes, a book signing, champagne—no expense will be spared. I think she’s been an integral part of Justin’s journey to bestseller. There were a few times he was tempted to quit, but she never let him waver for long.
I grab him again, hugging him breathless. “I really am so proud of you, Justin You deserve this. Soak it in.”
He kisses me, slow, tender, and deep. Pouring every beautiful emotion his overwhelmed self is feeling, into the kiss. His fingers skim my arm as his tongue presses at the seam of my lips. They part on a sigh as goosebumps spring under his touch.
He tastes of watermelon and beer, and when my hands roam up the length of his arms, his muscles flex, the definition of his biceps straining underneath his fitted shirt making my core spring to life.
“We should get married.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop the half-formed thought in its tracks. I’ve come close to saying it a few times lately, but every time it bubbles up inside me, I just bite it down and wait for the feeling to pass.
We’ve been together for two years, and I know we’re end game. I feel it all the way down to the core of my being. We’re going to be together forever. I don’t mean to rush Justin, but sometimes that feeling, the blissfully warm and all-encompassing love, gets so much that I can’tnotache for him to be mine forever. It threatens to overflow, kind of like it just did.
He jerks back away from me, eyes wide and blinking. And for what feels like the first time ever, his face seems unreadable. Should I laugh it off? Take the words back? Curl up under the dining room table until the embarrassment clawing at my skin fucks off? Move home with my parents?
Without a word, he turns away from me and makes his way to the laundry room through the kitchen. What the fuck just happened?
I drop my hands to my sides with a sigh, hoping I haven’t read our entire relationship wrong this whole time. I’m not sure I could live with that level of mortification. Maybe I just caught him off guard, maybe he needs a minute.
He comes back a few seconds later with his hockey kit bag slung over his shoulder. He plays for a couple of local rec leagues a few times a week, though tonight isn’t one of those nights. Does he need his pads to tell me he doesn’t want to marry me?
He has already dumped the duffle on the table and is elbow deep in the bag, digging for what, I don’t know. My face is hot, embarrassment souring my stomach and making it hard to breathe.
When he finally pulls his arm out of the bag, he’s holding a small, black velvet box which takes my breath away. “Justin.”
He holds up a finger to shush me, his eyes still red-rimmed and watery from our crying over hitting the bestseller list. My guy is a fucking bestseller!
“Weshouldget married.” He drops to one knee and presents me with the most beautiful teardrop-shaped diamond ring I’ve ever seen. It has two smaller, dark, almost black stones flanking the diamond on each side.
My hand flutters to cover my wide-open mouth. “H-h-how long have you had that?”
He grins at me. “Since we graduated? My grandma gave it to me when Mom told her I’d met the woman I was going to marry.”
“And you keep it in your kit bag?”
“It’s the one place in the house I know you’ll never volunteer to go.”
Scrunching my nose up, my head bobs. “Damn straight. It stinks.”
Another smile, this one warms me all the way deep into my bones as he cants his head. “I talked to your dad about a year ago.”
My brows twitch as my eyes flex wider.
“It took me a little longer to find my balls to talk to Athena. But I fed her liquor and pleaded my case, and she eventually relented and said I had her blessing. I feel like she faked it for a while just to make me buy her more drinks.”
That makes me laugh, the vibrating amusement juxtaposing with the tears spilling down my cheeks. If I thought I was a hot mess before, it didn’t have nothin’ on me now. I’m pretty sure I’m going to snot on this man if he comes near me. In what’s supposed to be a magical, romantic, timeless moment, I’m ugly crying and braying like a goddamn donkey.
I should really pull myself together, but I think we both know that’s not going to happen.
“I’ve tried three times to ask you, and three times I’ve been interrupted, or something happened to make it so I couldn’t. So this ring has lived in my bag for over a year when it should have been on your finger.”
I sniff, brushing my tears off my cheeks with the heels of my hands.
“I’ve been trying to wait for the perfect moment, but it seems it doesn’t exist. Or rather, every moment is the perfect moment and I was just being dumb about it. And I fully admit I’ve taken way too long to ask you this question, but I love you, Savannah Jane. I love you with every fiber of my being. I love you when I wake up to your bird’s nest hair and drool covered pillow. I love you when you make fun of my tone deaf singing. I love you so much that some days I don’t know what to do with all this love I have for you.”
The sincerity on his face hits me like an arrow to the chest.
“Marry me. Be mine forever.”
