No one breathes, or moves, or speaks as he lies motionless on the ice.
Eloise’s hand slides into mine, squeezing in quiet comfort.There’s a blur of movement on the ice as Ares leaves his crease and zips across the rink to where emergency services are already surrounding Raffi’s motionless body.
People in the seats around us whisper in concern. In my periphery, spectators stare at their phones and chatter grows louder by the second but I can’t pull my eyes off the father of my child.
To my left, Penelope has turned Wyatt to face her, she’s bouncing him on her lap and blowing raspberries on his neck so he doesn’t see the commotion on the ice.
It’s only when Eloise stands up to put her arm around me I realize I’ve made my way to my feet.
When they bring the stretcher out, my knees buckle, blood chilling in my veins. Eloise holds me, not letting me fall. Or bolt onto the ice. I’m not sure.
When they load him onto the stretcher, my heart shreds into tiny pieces. I can’t lose him again.
I can’t lose him again. My whole body shakes uncontrollably as both teams on the ice stand watching with the rest of us.
When they push him toward the tunnel, tears stream down my face.
What’s the protocol for player injuries? Do they call his parents? Will he need to be taken to the hospital? Should I try to find my way “backstage”? Is that allowed? Should I call mom to come take Wyatt?
She’s working. Her phone will be off. There’s no way she can come for him.
Apollo skates across the ice toward me. His mouth moves, but no sound meets my ears. I try to nod. His sympathetic eyes do little to thaw the abject panic spreading throughout my body.
Eloise is patting my pants. When she pulls out my phone, she holds it up to my face and it unlocks. “Your mom?”
“She’s at work. I don’t know who can take him.”
Penelope offers, but she has no car seat, or toys, or anything vaguely child friendly in her house.
“Tori? Tori? Your phone is ringing. It’s an unknown number, should I answer it?”
My gaze shoots back to the place on the ice where Raffi was lying. The ice has been cleared, and the officials are all gathered in a huddle.
Eloise is talking to someone on my phone. “Tori?” Her voice is sharp, forcing me to look at her. “It’s Raffi’s mom. Can she maybe take Wyatt while I take you wherever you need to be? Would she be okay with you going to the hospital and not her?”
They have toys, they’ve even got a bed for him in the room that was formerly a home gym. It’s now an homage to everything Wyatt loves. Blippi, Number Blocks, and Paw Patrol.
They’re a safe space.
The urge to haul my kid to the hospital is persistent. But it wouldn’t be fair to him. He’s already rubbing his eyes and resting his head on Penelope’s shoulder.
“Okay.” My tongue feels too big for my mouth. It’s dry. And words are hard. I don’t know if Raffi’s mom would even consider not being by her son’s side so that I can, it’s a bit… presumptuous.
Eloise says something else to me, but I can’t hear her. I pick Wyatt up from Penelope’s arms and make my way down the row to the exit.
No idea if the girls are behind me, but they’ll find me if they aren’t. Eloise comes with me to wait outside for Raffi’s parents. If Wyatt loses his shit at the thought of going with them, that’ll make my decision for me. I’ll just take him with me.
Do they have a car seat?
Penelope goes to find whoever Jim is and askwhere I need to go to see Raffi. But as we wait, an ambulance whizzes past, a blur of red and white lights and sirens. I almost drop Wyatt, but Eloise catches him before I crumple to my knees on the sidewalk.
I don’t know how long it takes for Ani and Travis to arrive, but Travis’s arms loop under mine and pull me to my feet.
“Do you want one of us to come with you?” Ani is waiting for me to lead. If it was Wyatt in hospital, wild horses couldn’t keep me away from his bedside. My heart swells that her unspoken words suggest there’s no where else I want to be than at her son’s bed side, and in order for that to happen, she’s content to sit with her grandson. It sends a sliver of warmth back through my body.
His parents are next of kin. I have no rights at the hospital. I don’t know his medical history. They have more right to be there than I do.
Wyatt has already looped his arms around Ani’s neck. It’s good, what I wanted. But damn if part of me wasn’t holding out for my kid to need his mama so I could snuggle the crap out of him in the waiting room of the hospital.
