‘No need to be insulting.’ He gave a weak laugh.
‘True. But still.’
‘You are very bossy and surprisingly strong.’
‘Well, that’s true enough too I suppose.’ I glanced out the side; we were only a quarter of the way around. We still had the highest bit of the rise to do. ‘Right, so what am I going to have to deal with here? Are you gonna pass out or start screaming and trying to climb out the cage?’
He shut his eyes. ‘Of course I’m not going to try and climb out – d’you think I’m insane?’
‘Well, phobias make people react in irrational ways.’
‘I’m not going to move. I’ll probably—’ He took a shaky breath. ‘I’ll probably hyperventilate. I might…I might…’
He still hadn’t opened his eyes, so I grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He tightened his grip around my fingers in a way that was reminiscent of women giving birth. Which gave me an idea. Focus on the end point. That was what I used to do when I was a midwife with the women who were terrified once labour got underway.
‘It’s not going to take long – the ride’s only about ten minutes tops and then we’ll be on our way down—’ It was really unfortunate that as I said the word ‘down’ the wheel stopped and the gentle swing became more pronounced. Stephen’s eyes flew open and his other hand grabbed at the side of the cabin, his knuckles going white. ‘It’s okay,’ I tried to soothe him. I was really starting to feel rotten that I had forced him into this. It wasn’t a joke. He was getting more terrified by the second. ‘It’s just letting some more people on; we’ll start moving again in a minute.’
‘That’s what I’m worried about,’ he muttered and his eyes darted out and back again as he saw how high up we were already. If it was possible, he turned even more white. Maybe he was going to pass out.
‘I reckon you should put your head between your legs.’
‘I can’t move.’ And it was true: he seemed barely able to move his jaw to speak.
‘You’ve been so much higher than this so many times in your life and it’s always been fine hasn’t it? Don’t you work in a huge skyscraper?’
‘It haswalls.’ His eyes widened at me, as though he couldn’t fathom that I’d say something so ridiculous. And it was ridiculous. What did I think? I was going to talk him out of his irrational fear? No. Another tactic was necessary.
The cage started moving again and he gave a startled groan low in his throat. I slapped my other hand on top of his.
‘Y’know, this is super inconsiderate of you. I’m not getting to appreciate this ride at all because I’m so worried about you. This and the dodgems are my favourite things to do here. You fancy doing that next?’
He didn’t say anything.
‘I could try and win you an enormous cuddly toy at the coconut shy? What’s your preference? Giant panda or fluffy unicorn? I got you down as a unicorn lover, am I right?’
‘Oh my God, do you never shut up?’ he panted at me.
‘Very rarely. I’m trying to distract you, doofus. Is it working?’
‘No. I’m too used to tuning you out when you ramble on and on.’
I raised an eyebrow at him, but his eyes were shut again. ‘You want me to be quiet then?’
‘Could you?’
‘I can but try.’
‘Great. Thank you.’
I pressed my lips together and looked out. We were nearing the top now: 150 feet up in the air. The lights down below twinkled and flashed while up here it was blissfully cool and quiet. Even the music of the arcades was faint. I didn’t mind appreciating the peace…but it was spoiled slightly by Stephen’s harsh breathing. If he hadn’t been such a wreck, it might’ve turned me on.
The problem also was, I knew we were going to stop at the top. It was going to be a bad moment, if he reacted like last time and looked out. The breeze moved my hair across my face, and I lifted my hand away from his, to tuck it behind my ear, trying not to recall the way it had felt when he’d smoothed my hair back the same way earlier – the graze of his fingertips on the shell of my ear.
His eyes snapped open again as though he sensed my movement and thought I was going somewhere. They landed on mine, but I didn’t say anything, and he blinked a few times. ‘Okay, quiet isn’t working. Distract me again.’
Talking wasn’t helping. It was time to do something extreme. I put my hand to his clammy cheek, the slight abrasion of his stubble against my palm, and leaned in towards him.
‘What are you—?’
