I was struggling so hard to write this novel because of the love story. How could I understand a relationship and get my two main characters, Charmaine and Kit, together when I understood nothing about functioning relationships? I wanted to help you search for your dad this summer because I thought it would help with my mystery plot – and it did* – but the main thing it helped me with was the relationship development.
If you inspired anyone in my novel, it’s Kit. He’s always been the image of a dependable, perfect boyfriend that Charmaine didn’t realise was under her nose. But as I wrote the changes in this story and we spent more time together, Kit became so much more, their relationship became so much more, because I realised he didn’t need to be perfect – he just needed to be the right balance for her. Supportive when she needed it. Challenging when she needed that too. Being with you taught me that. Kit is the opposite of James.
*please don’t sue me, I can’t afford it
3)Burn the lists
Not all of them! Let’s not get carried away. But the ones where I try and contain a real human being in a checklist, I swear I won’t ever do that again, on paper or in my head. There are some questions for which the answers are deal-breakers. I don’t think I’m wrong about that but what I’ve learnt as I’ve spent this summer with you, is that the gray areas are just as important as the black and white answers. What is the point of having a relationship with someone who agrees with you entirely? There’s no growth there. Nothing to communicate about. In that way life is like fiction, because without conflict, it’s simply not interesting. And we’ve had plenty of conflict so the last thing I’d like to do is:
4)Try again
Yours,
Noelle
PS. If for any reason you don’t want to take me up on my de-idiotising plan, please shred this manuscript. Or burn it. You can imagine it’s one of my Horcruxes.
My eyes darted over the page, picking out bits of information, trying to make sense of what the letter was telling me.
My heart was racing even though all I was doing was sitting at my table. She thought we were both idiots. She thought I was a pretty damn fantastic human being?
And she wanted to try again.
Chapter Twenty-One
I made myself busy through the first couple of days of the week writing blog posts and catching up on social media activity to promote my latest release, which I’d all but forgotten about in the frenzy of trying to write Book 8.
My apartment was actually clean and tidy, I was able to sit down and read the massive pile of novels I’d accumulated over the last couple of months. Except I couldn’t concentrate at all for wondering about what Stephen had thought of my letter. Was he finally convinced that I didn’t think he was a selfish womaniser like his dad, or had I rambled too much and he was still so angry he’d dumped my book in his wastepaper basket and set fire to it?
I was becoming spectacularly proficient at diving for my cell phone whenever it rang. If they ever made it an Olympic sport, I was confident I would win gold because the damn thing only ever seemed to light up when I was ten feet away from it.
When it did start ringing on Wednesday evening I dumped the jar of peanut butter I was scraping the dregs out of in the kitchen and did a belly slide across my counter to grab it.
But it was only Lucy asking me to babysit for her tomorrow afternoon, which I was more than happy to do for her. I slept through most of Thursday morning because it felt easier to just shut down for a while. I would stop acting like a basket case soon I was sure but for now, it was sleep and then go babysit. One day at a time. I had to store up my energy anyhow to deal with any questions my family might have about Stephen.
I braided my hair in two plaits, and put on my glasses because my eyes were sore from all the screen work I’d done recently – oh, okay, it was the crying too – and a pair of dungarees with my favourite T-shirt underneath. That was the wonderful thing about going to see family: they didn’t care if you wanted to revert to your teenage self for the sake of comfort. I was only babysitting, and I knew little Brigid wouldn’t mind. I was looking forward to the snuggles in fact.
Even though the last time I’d seen her I’d been with Stephen.
There were a few wisps of white cloud in the cornflower blue sky and the hectic heat of the summer had eased off a couple degrees. Lucy answered her door with Brigid in a sling over her chest. She wasn’t very dressed up for going out on a date, but then maybe she’d got me over early so we could have a chat.
‘Don’t come in.’ She blocked me from coming in the door. ‘We need to pop over to Mom and Dad’s first.’
‘Oh, right, okay.’ I went back down the steps to her porch. ‘Did you leave something over there? I can go grab it for you.’
‘That’s kind, honey, but I’ll walk with you. Nice to get out of the four walls y’know.’ She joined me, straightening a sun hat over Brigid’s little head, resting on her chest.
‘You are going out tonight. That’s why I’m here remember?’
‘Oh, yeah.’ She laughed lightly. ‘Of course. Still, it’s a nice day and I’ll get a chance to see Mom.’
We walked around the block to my parents’ place in suspicious quiet. Being quiet in and of itself wasn’t the suspicious thing but the way she was biting her lip and avoiding eye contact was.
When we got to our parents’, the place was noisy as usual. Most of the family were there, the twins playing a computer game in the den, Mom in the kitchen, Dad in his office and Daisy in the back garden playing soccer against the fence. As soon as they realised we’d arrived, they all congregated around me to say hi, instead of calling out or ignoring me as was normally the case.
‘Okay what’s going on? Is this an intervention or something?’ Had Tim made me sound like a complete basket case? ‘I’m okay, I just haven’t been in touch so much for the last couple of weeks because of finishing off my novel.’
‘Is that really all it was?’ Mom asked, putting her hands on my shoulders and looking at me closely.
