His nephew was so smart, and Rowan couldn’t help thinking about the conversation he’d had with Lila earlier – when he’d stopped to think about where his head was at when he was fourteen – how he’d just been existing day to day. Jordan’s life was so different, thank God.
And that was partly down to how lucky Rowan had been to fall into his acting career. Not entirely. Regardless of money, Jordan’s life was wildly different because Terry was a decent, kind man and a great dad. But also, they had the money to raise him in a safe neighbourhood, he went to good schools, and Rowan would do everything he could to send him to the best university if that’s where the little Einstein was headed.
He clapped Jordan on the shoulder and his bandage flipped off, hanging on by one strip of tape.
‘What on earth have you done to yourself, Rowan?’ his mum said, frowning at his bandaged hand. ‘You look awfully pale too.’
‘Oh,helooks pale,’ a croaky voice said. ‘I just gave birth.’
Rowan turned and went over to give his big sister a kiss too. ‘Congratulations. How you doing? You okay?’
‘As okay as anyone could be after pushing a melon through the eye of a needle.’
Rowan winced.
‘You asked,’ she sniggered.
‘I did.’
‘Well?’
‘Well, what?’
‘I assumed you were taking forever because you were buying me an enormous bunch of flowers and finding the biggest teddy bear you could carry.’
Rowan rubbed his hand over his face. Of course, he should have brought a gift. ‘Shit. No. Sorry. I’ll bring something tomorrow morning when I stop by. I was just in a hurry to get here and see for myself that you were all okay.’
She sniffed and raised an eyebrow. ‘I suppose that’s understandable. You can make it up over the next week by doing lots of nappy-changing and treating us to takeaways.’
Rowan sighed and his shoulders dropped. ‘I’m…I’m sorry, I can’t. At least not the nappy-changing. I could still treat you to takeaways.’
‘What? Why can’t you do the nappy changes? Don’t tell me it makes you retch. No one likes changing nappies – it’s no excuse.’
‘My agent needs me to go to Italy the week before the shooting in Sicily begins. I’ve got to do some media training. Again.’
‘Rowan. How is that more important than spending time with your family – your new nephew – before you disappear for six months abroad?’
‘It’s a hoop I have to jump through. For that big role I’m in the running for. If I don’t get it, I haven’t got anything else lined up after Sicily.’
‘I see.’ She folded her arms across her chest. ‘When do you fly out?’
‘Tomorrow. But I’ll make sure I come by in the morning.’
‘I suppose that will have to do. The baby did come three weeks early – I guess you would have been out in Sicily already if he’d arrived when he was supposed to.’
‘Gosh, can you imagine how heavy he would have been if he had been on time,’ their mum said behind him. Rowan turned and could see the disappointment on her face, despite the way she was trying to lighten the atmosphere.
Siobhan gave a small laugh. ‘Don’t. I know I’m not religious but thank the Lord for that.’
The door creaked open and the nurse who had let Rowan onto the ward came in. ‘Hi, everyone, just need to do a check-up and a little bit of first aid on your brother.’
‘Trying to hog the limelight as usual, Rowan.’ Siobhan tutted, poking him playfully in the ribs. It was her way of showing she wasn’t mad, and he appreciated it – but he still felt a curl of sadness settling in his stomach.
He wished he could stay. He wished he could make the movies Gerrard was pushing for and still get to spend as much time with his family as he wanted to. But unless he was going to start doing more independent pictures with shorter production times, he just couldn’t balance the two. He’dlikeda lot of the small films he’d seen scripts for, and he was excited to go to Sicily and work with Wesley Hannover, the director, but small productions often only paid to a low-budget scale. So, if he had to sacrifice his time with his family to wring every ounce of opportunity out of the good luck the universe had sent him, that was what he had to do.
After the nurse checked over Siobhan and Joshua, she moved Jordan and Terry from the little table and made Rowan take a seat. As she unwrapped the makeshift bandage it pulled at the sore skin, where the cotton had become stuck, pain radiating through his hand and up his arm. A distant memory echoed in his ears – the smash of glass, and bright hot pain – but it faded as everything began to feel like it was happening from the other end of a tunnel.
He wasn’t about to pass out, it was just because he was so tired, and something about the smell of the antiseptic and the bright lights and the throbbing in his hand were too much; it was like he was being buried under the sand by an overzealous kid, each shovel weighing him down as he watched the tide coming in.
The nurse cleaned up the wound, quickly and efficiently. He watched and it was all muffled and a bit foggy. When he got home, he needed to have a shower and go straight to bed. Body clock be damned. If he woke up at 2am at least that would guarantee he’d be back at the hospital as soon as visiting hours started again. He wanted to spend as much time with his family as he could before he had to fly out.
