‘We’re definitely going shopping. We’ll get a great, sexy outfit for you, and then one night in the week we’ll go out properly. There have to be some tourists or young Sicilian men who haven’t left the island looking for a bit of fun.’
Lila literally bit her tongue to stop herself from objecting, because wasn’t this exactly what she wanted? To go out and socialise like a normal person? It had been so long since she’d done this. Back in college she’d had a small group of friends but when they’d started work and Lila had met her boyfriend the trips out had got further apart, and then the phone calls and messages had petered out too. Until all she was left with was Milo, and then he’d dumped her too. Said she was too needy…and aloof. Things she’d once thought were diametrically opposed, but she was all about defying the laws of nature apparently.
‘Okay. I’ll go shower and get dressed.’
‘Good girl. I’m going to make this your summer awakening,’ Ruth promised from behind her.
‘As long as you’re not suggesting we share a shower again, that’s fine with me,’ Lila retorted and felt a bubble of pleasure when Ruth guffawed.
One day,she told herself as she stripped off and stepped under the stream of warm water,every time you make a joke, you won’t feel like you’re gambling your entire well-being on the way it is received.
Today was not that day though. She and Ruth took a bus along the coast and up to Taormina, where it dropped them off just outside the town. They entered under a big archway and found their way to a beautiful piazza of worn black and white stone, one side with an old church overlooking it and the other protected only by a railing and open to a view down the cliffside and out to the turquoise sea. A curving sliver of gold showed the winding stretch of the coastline back towards Catania.
But Ruth didn’t want to hang around there. They’d headed farther in along the pedestrianised streets with shops and cafés, already starting to fill up, tables out on the sidewalks, though the tourist season was only just starting. The prices in the shops reflected it being geared towards vacationers too, and they agreed not to buy anything and head somewhere smaller for lunch.
As they went through another huge old archway and tried to find their way back through the small alleys towards where the bus stop was, the amphitheatre came into view. Though it was a shell of red Roman brick rising up against the achingly blue sky, the crumbled exterior didn’t detract at all from its grandeur; it just showed how long it had prevailed and Lila’s imagination fired up, trying to picture what it would have looked like when it was whole and complete. She’d never been so close to anything so old in her life.
But Ruth showed no interest in paying that a visit either, so Lila guessed if she wanted to do that kind of sightseeing, she was going to have to find the courage to go it alone. There was so much history on the island; it would be a shame to leave without seeing any of it.
When they were back on the bus, Ruth received a message from Sally and Lila was press-ganged into meeting her for lunch at a little restaurant on the beach a fair few stops along before home.
The beach was getting busy, people staked out all over the mixture of sand and pebbles and paddling in the sea, which looked almost translucent this close up. The restaurant had decking that opened out onto the beach and a basic menu that Lila chose arancini from. They shared a bottle of wine, and then a second, and it helped Lila to unwind and take a few more of those conversational risks when it became clear that Sally and Ruth had known each other a long time and were full of in-jokes.
They didn’t mean to make her feel left out she was sure, but they had so much gossip about everyone, and Lila had nothing to contribute. Everyone seemed to know everyone else, through six degrees of separation and hearing gossip always made her wonder…what would those same people say about her when she wasn’t around?
But Lila would have been lying if she said she didn’t find it interesting. Particularly when Ruth told them she’d asked Sibyl about what Cassandra – the supermodel Rowan was apparently dating – was like since Sibyl had worked with her back when she was in fashion and Sibyl had uncharacteristically only had good things to say.
So. His girlfriend was stunningly beautiful and such a wonderful person even the grumpiest woman in the world liked her. It only made sense. And was not at all something Lila should have any feelings about.
Just when she thought they might pack up to go home, they were spotted by a group of the crew who had been walking along the beach, and it all became a commotion of joining tables and pulling up extra chairs and ordering more wine, the weariness crashed in on her again.
How long would all this socialising last for? It had already been one heck of a busy day with Ruth dragging her around Taormina in a whirlwind when she would have preferred to slow down and appreciate it. Were they going to be here all afternoon? And now she had two men either side of her who she hadn’t met before. She thought of the fool she had made of herself last weekend at a table full of strangers, after a few glasses of wine and realised that she was only going to be able to cope with this if she literally stopped talking and moving. Maybe she could feign going to sleep? She wouldn’t even have to pretend. If she shut her eyes and leaned back, she’d pass out, she was sure.
Yeah, great plan – that wouldn’t draw any attention.
She tried to tune in to the conversations but suddenly there were three going on across the table simultaneously and she couldn’t keep track or take part in any of them.
Time to leave. Definitely.
‘Ruth.’ The alcohol in her system helped her to brave lifting her voice over the noise at the table. Until everyone stopped to look at her. ‘I’m going to head back. Take a nap and make some calls back home now they’re awake,’ she lied.
‘Oh, yeah? Cool. You know where you’re going right?’ Ruth was nodding, in answer to her own question.
‘Yeah. I’ll be fine. See you back at the apartment.’ She passed some euros over for her share of the meal and a tip, then gathered her handbag. Everyone waved goodbye and by the time she’d stepped down onto the beach and looked back they were laughing and talking, and she was forgotten.
Perfect.
She started walking down the beach, the sun beating down on her. At first, she thought her struggle to walk in a straight line was because of the terrain, and she was having to navigate umbrellas and towels every few metres. Then she stopped to get her bearings and the world wobbled on its axis.
Oh Lord, she’d got herself properly drunk. And now she was lost too.
She’d turned the wrong way when she’d left the restaurant, hadn’t she? She should have gone right to follow the coastline along to her apartment, but she’d gone left by mistake.
She couldn’t walk back the other way – they’d all still be sitting out at the restaurant and see her staggering along in the opposite direction.
Maybe if she carried on towards the next little village or resort, she’d be able to grab a big bottle of water and a bus back in the opposite direction?
She carried on walking for a few minutes. The sun was boring a hole between her shoulder blades now and queasiness came at her in waves. The beach was narrowing too, with intermittent black rocks scattered amongst the sand, so it wasn’t as crowded. Maybe sitting down, just for half an hour, until the wooziness passed, would be the best thing to do.
