‘Which is precisely why you need to go on one. Just one. C’mon. Sit, sit. We’ll have an amazing view.’
He folded himself down onto the seat. It could have been the neon lighting, but his face was looking pale; maybe I’d made a mistake forcing him to eat the corn dog? I sat down, too. It was cosy and I could smell the gentle spice of his aftershave. The cage swung as the attendant closed and checked the door. A second later we started the slow rotation and the balmy air moved just enough that I sighed. It was going to be so fantastically cool up at the top. I couldn’t wait.
‘So, tell me about you and Nick. Did you ever dangle your little brother out of a window by the ankles?’
‘Christno.’ Stephen shook his head sharply and looked down at his feet. The column of his throat rippled with a hard swallow.
It was such a vehement response that I was taken aback. I studied him for a moment – the sudden changes in his body language. He didn’t look great if truth be told. I mean, he looked as delectable as always, but he also looked a bit sweaty and drawn. And all his usual poise and control was strangely absent. His shoulders were practically up by his ears.
‘Are you OK? Is the corn-dog-margarita-mix not agreeing with you?’
He lifted his head and his brown eyes were even darker than normal, his pupils blown up wide. ‘I’m fine,’ he said, tightly.
No. He really wasn’t. I thought back to how tense he’d been when I bumped into him at the rooftop bar. He’d not gone near the edge once. Not even looked behind him at the view.
‘Stephen…are you scared of heights?’
Finally, he nodded.
‘Like a proper phobia?’
He paused for a moment and then gave another little nod.
‘Then why the hell’d you let me get you in here? That was pretty dumb.’
‘You are very bossy and surprisingly strong,’ he said, weakly.
‘Hmm…guilty, I suppose.’ I glanced out the side; we were only a quarter of the way around. We still had the highest bit of the rise to do. ‘Right, so what am I going to have to deal with here? Are you gonna pass out or start screaming and trying to climb out the cage?’
He shut his eyes. ‘Of course I’m not going to try and climb out – d’you think I’m insane?’
‘Well, phobias make people react in irrational ways.’
‘I’m not going to move. I’ll probably—’ He took a shaky breath. ‘I’ll probably hyperventilate. I might…I might…’
He still hadn’t opened his eyes, so I grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He tightened his grip around my fingers in a way that was reminiscent of women giving birth. Which gave me an idea. Focus on the end point. That was what I used to do when I was a midwife with the women who were terrified once labour got underway.
‘It’s not going to take long – the ride’s only about ten minutes tops and then we’ll be on our way down—’ It was really unfortunate that as I said the word ‘down’ the wheel stopped and the gentle swing became more pronounced. Stephen’s eyes flew open and his other hand grabbed at the side of the cabin, his knuckles going white. ‘It’s OK,’ I tried to soothe him. I was really starting to feel rotten that I had forced him into this. It wasn’t a joke. He was getting more terrified by the second. ‘We’ll start moving again in a minute.’
‘That’s what I’m worried about,’ he muttered and his focus darted out and back again as he saw how high up we were already. If it was possible, he turned even more white. Maybe he was going to pass out.
‘I reckon you should put your head between your legs.’
‘I can’t move.’ And it was true: he seemed barely able to open his jaw to speak.
‘You’ve been so much higher than this so many times in your life and it’s always been fine, hasn’t it? Don’t you work in a huge skyscraper?’
‘It haswalls.’ His eyes widened at me, as though he couldn’t understand why I’d say something so ridiculous. And it was ridiculous. What did I think? I was going to talk him out of his irrational fear? No. Another tactic was necessary.
The cage started moving again and he gave a startled groan low in his throat. I slapped my other hand on top of his.
‘Y’know, this is super inconsiderate of you. I’m not getting to appreciate this ride at all because I’m so worried about you. This and the dodgems are my favourite things to do here. You fancy doing that next?’
He didn’t say anything.
‘I could try and win you an enormous cuddly toy? What’s your preference? Giant panda or fluffy unicorn? I got you down as a unicorn lover, am I right?’
‘Oh my God, do you never shut up?’ he panted at me.
