I nod, feeling a little lost for words, and shift my position in Pi’s passenger seat to make my newfound excitement for these next few days less obvious.
“It’s just that . . .” he continues, his eyes fixed on the road. “I’ve been thinking about yesterday, about what we said in the bathroom, and Megan and Georgia, and if anything happens with Georgia and me and we decide to go exclusive, we—me and you, I mean—should probably stop . . . fucking with each other. I don’t know if I can be the guy who cheats on his girlfriend.”
Pi glances over at me, comprehension dawning on his face that I might have been offended by his words.
“In all honesty, I’m not sure I’m that guy either. As stupid as that sounds, because well, we’ve already been messing about behind Megan’s back, but . . .” Fuck, there is no non-embarrassing way to say this. “I really,really, fucking want you.”
It’s his turn to be silent.
I puff out a long sigh. “I want you like I’ve never wanted anybody or anything else. You do something to me, Pi, and I can’t wrap my head around what it is, but if I don’t get tofuck you soon, I’m gonna start flipping tables or something, you know?”
He nods. “So . . . if I’m not the type of guy to cheat on his girlfriend, that leaves me two options. One, I don’t get into anything with Georgia, and I stay single for a while longer,orrr. . .”
I hold my breath. Sit upright.
“We do everything we can before that moment arrives. If it arrives . . .” he says.
“Cram it in?” I suggest.
“Literally.”
“Fuck each other out of our systems?”
Pi holds up a hand, like he’s got nothing to hide. I take this to mean,“Yes. Let’s hump each other’s brains out until we get bored and resume regular adult life.”
“I mean, there’s a decent chance that nothing will happen with Georgia and me. I don’t exactly have a great track record with relationships, but I wanted to get my thoughts out there, just in case it does.”
I rub a palm over the front of my jeans. Out the window, large brown banks of wall give way to flat greenery as Pi leaves the M5 to join the A30. We’re about halfway.
“Pray tell, Lord Campbell,” I say, putting on a desperately awful Bridgerton inspired accent. “How does one prepare for up the bum fun times?”
“Well, okay, so douching, yeah . . .”
By the time we arrive in Newquay, just over an hour later, I have been well and truly filled in—pun intended—on the “logistics” of butt fucking. In theory, I understand how to clean and readymyself for a guest appearance. I know about the devices that can help me limber up and stretch, and I’m aware of anal trainers, and poppers, and what kind of lube to use.
I’m absolutely bricked, and Pi’s tenting worse than I am, so we make a teeny adjustment to the itinerary and head straight to the hotel to check into Pi’s room. He has a view of the car park, not the ocean, but we hardly notice it.
Pi flicks on the shower to wash away the journey, and we step in together. I push him against the tiles, and he pushes me back. We kiss, fuck our own hands, fuck each other’s hands, and because I’m learning his subtle, silent cues, when I sense he’s closing in on his orgasm, I drop to my knees and take his load on my face. He does the same to me, maintaining eye contact the entire time. I pour every spare ounce of concentration into memorising each line and curve of his face dripping with my cum.
“Fucking hell,” I whisper, dragging my thumb through it and rubbing it over his lips. His tongue pops out and swipes along the pad, and every cell in my body contracts with renewed want.
We wash using the hotel’s complimentary shower gel and shampoo, then dry and get dressed in our cheesy festive jumpers and hats, and I direct Pi to Jody’s ground-floor flat on the edge of town.
“Dad!” Logan screams, running up to cuddle me the second we open the doors of Pi’s Honda.
“Spider-Man!” I hug him like a boa constrictor and kiss the top of his head about twenty times. “Merry Christmas, pard. God, I’ve missed you. How are you?”
“Yeah,” he replies. “Look, do you want to see what Auntie Livvie got me for Christmas?”
“Absolutely.” I look over at Jody, who’s smiling wide and holding her arms open ready to embrace me.
“Merry Christmas, Finn,” she says, hugging me and kissing me on the cheek.
“This is Aiden and Trekkie,” I say, as they both step around to my side of the car.
Pi holds out a gift bag containing a bottle of Bailey’s. He was keen to leave a good impression, and I’d told him it was Jody’s favourite. “Nice to meet you. This is for you.”
“Oh my god, Bailey’s. Love a Bailey’s, I do.” She glances at me, waits to make eye contact, and then raises a brow in Pi’s direction.
