‘Daniel. The next poor guy on the noticeboard.’
‘I almost couldn’t care less.’ Now Luca looks sheepishtoo, and I feel worse. ‘Sorry. I don’t know – somehow you and I have switched roles. Usually you’re the impulsive one.’
‘Thanks for the assessment,’ he replies drily. ‘Not that I disagree.’
‘Why aren’t you more bothered? There’s no way we’ll find out who did this now.’
Heloise shuffles out behind us, with a huge box on a trolley that makes a loud noise as it clatters over the cobblestones. She propels the trolley towards the noticeboard to switch out the letters. Having seen enough of her and anything to do with the council, I direct Luca back to the promenade.
‘It’s not that I’mnotbothered. I’ve just accepted that the mess is made, and we have to muddle through it. Doesn’t mean I like it.’ A sandy tennis ball lands by his feet, quickly followed by a delighted terrier. Luca throws the ball back towards the beach and the dog zooms after it. ‘It’s like bombing your final exams. Or crashing your car. It’s happened, and it’s awful, but you can’t change it.’
‘Except that we didn’t cause this! That changes the situation, surely?’
‘Does it? And what if we found out? You might get the satisfaction, but it’s too late to stop the rumour mill.’
I ponder his words and come to the annoying conclusion that he’s right. We have to deal. And I can’t even explain how much it pisses me off. Not just that someone turned us into fodder for their tea party, but the general expectation that because Luca and I are close, we’ll inevitably turn into a couple. Like people have nothing better to do than talk about us. The stupid noticeboard is only a symptom of a much bigger problem.
Suddenly, Luca’s hands cup my face. The second he touches me, my eyelids flutter, and I want to fall into him. I want to pour all of myself into his gentle hands, let him brush away my worries. But that’s not how it works. I force my eyes open and try not to let my thoughts show.
‘Relax,’ he says, ‘stop grinding your teeth to dust.’
He holds my gaze, and with it my entire body. Luca fills my vision, eyes bright as the morning and familiar as the pillow that lulls me to sleep at night. Beneath his touch the tension begins to melt. I breathe in and out until only a dull ache remains.
When I realise what we’re doing, standing so close where everyone can see, I step back. Luca’s arms fall to his sides. A corner of his mouth lifts, but I detect concern in the slant of his smile. The ocean rushes in my ears along with my own beating heart, pierced only by the shriek of seagulls.
‘We could skip school. Just for a day.’
I shake my head at Luca’s suggestion. The temptation is real, but so is Mum’s wrath if she found out. ‘We have to muddle through, right?’
‘Doesn’t mean we can’t cheat now and then. Exceptional circumstances allow for unusual measures,’ Luca replies.
‘Did you read that somewhere?’
He laughs, and his eyes are framed by a dozen little lines. ‘Nope. I’m a big boy who knows big words.’ He skips ahead, in the direction of his home. ‘See you in school, then?’ He strips off his shirt as he walks away, his back coated in a sheen of sweat. Light ripples across his spine and fractures with every step, each lift of a bare shoulder.
Even hours later, it’s still on my mind, hushing everyother thought. The shoulder lift and the sunrays flitting across his skin like a swarm of honey-coloured butterflies.
If you could catch light, I write into my notebook that night,how would you do it? Trap it in a butterfly net or gather it like dew from a leaf?
And if you could drink light, what would it taste of? What would it feel like?
CHAPTER 5 – LUCA
‘There’s the new guy in our year, Jacob. He ended things with his boyfriend before he moved here. He’s cute, don’t you think?’
Louise looks up at me with her big hazel eyes framed by a heart-shaped face and strawberry-blonde curls. She’s an unapologetic gossip, not unlike a certain elderly lady who lives in the flat above ours. But where Miss M collects rumours like a magpie does shiny things, Louise shares what she’s gathered with anyone who will listen.
My plan to sound her out was purely strategic. I was quietly hoping for fresh scandal. Not that I wish other people harm, but the best way to bury a rumour is with a bigger, juicier one. Somewhere in her monologue I forgot that I wasn’t listening to a podcast, so it takes me a moment to register the direct question.
‘Wha— Jacob? He’s in my photography class but, this is the first time I’m hearing about a boyfriend.’ Or that he’s gay. A tingling feeling rushes through my body, and I rock back and forth on my feet to release the restlessness. It’s strange knowing I’m no longer the only gay boy in town. Good strange, I think. I’m just not used to the idea.
‘Bit preoccupied, huh?’
‘You could say that.’ I force a smile that convinces nobody. ‘So, Simo and I, we’re still . . .?’
‘The talk of town, yes,’ she confirms soberly.
‘Great.’ I sigh.
