The easy way would also doom him to a quick death.
Splashing water on my face, I pushed that image from my mind. Uriel had said Nick and I could find a way forward, so long as I found the right path. I clung to those words like a lifeline.
In my arrogance, I thought this would be easy. Telling him I held something back, but would tell him soon seemed brilliant at the time. Clearly, it wasn’t the way forward.
I brushed my teeth slowly, pushing every brain cell to find a solution to Uriel’s riddle. Nothing came to me, which shouldn’t have been a surprise. Things like feelings and emotions couldn’tbe forced. Normally I accepted that, but this wasn’t normal. Convincing Nick was a matter of life or death.
My head ached as I left the bathroom, but it was nothing compared to the pain in my chest. Nick’s energy washed over me, only this time it wasn’t soothing. He was awake, but based on what I felt, he was probably just as uneasy over our situation as me.
Staring at the bed, I wondered if I should sleep in the car or find a hotel. Sharing a bed seemed far too intimate for where we were at that moment.
I changed into shorts and a clean tee shirt. No great revelation came to me, so I followed the plan. If Nick had been uncomfortable with me in the bed, he would’ve slept somewhere else.
As I crawled into the king bed, dreading the tension that filled the air. Nick didn’t stir as I slipped under the sheets, the small space between us a vast and insurmountable distance. The tension in the air was palpable. I wanted to reach out and touch him, to feel the warmth of his body against mine, but I was frozen by indecision.
The fact Nick got in the bed probably meant he still wanted something more with me. But what if he didn’t? If he stayed because he felt he had nowhere else to go, any move on my part wouldn’t be welcome. Would he feel secure enough to tell me to stop?
I’d stop, of course, if I felt even an ounce of hesitation, but only an asshole would put him in that position. Before I touched him, I needed to be sure it was welcome.
“Nick?” My voice was barely a whisper, but it echoed through the darkened room.
Pushing out a tendril of talent, I reached for Nick’s presence. He was awakeandhad heard me. Seconds ticked off as I anxiously waited for his response. All he did was feign sleep.
I had my answer.
I turned onto my side and faced his back in case he’d relent and acknowledge my attempt to speak. He wouldn’t, but that didn’t stop me from hoping.
Watching his torso move as he breathed, I focused on how to win him back. And I would find a way. Failure wasn’t an option. As cliched as that saying was, it was true. I wasn’t going to let myHKarlindie.
Nick
Itrudged up the stairs, my head spinning from the past 24 hours. I’d been feeling so optimistic about Henry when I left the apartment. Yes, my choice of men hadn’t been great the last couple of years, but I was so sure Henry would be different.
Nope. Same old story.
Retracing my steps while still single was my own walk of shame. I’d come home dejected before, but this was different. Henry was Trev’s cousin. I couldn’t engage in my personal therapy of trash talking the douche I’d gone out with.
Except, Henry wasn’t a jerk. I didn’t get what happened at all.
Not knowing what had happened, I didn’t want to face Trevor. Which meant of course the sound coming from our apartment was him and we were going to have this talk whether I liked it or not.
I slid the key into the lock as quietly as I could and eased the door open. Like that would make a difference. Trevor probably saw Henry drop me off and was waiting to interrogate me.
“Hey, Nick.” Trevor sounded way too cheerful. “How’d yourdatego?
I loved Trevor, he was my best friend and better than my brother, but I wanted to punch him so hard at that moment.That emotion only added to my confusion about my date. Even Trevor expected it to go well, and he’d always had doubts about the guys I picked.
“Hey.” I gave him a weak little wave, ignored the question, and headed for my room.
Trevor wouldn’t leave it at that, he knew me too well. I felt his eyes on me as I marched away and mentally counted down from three... two...
“Nicko, wait.”
I shrugged off my backpack and stopped. He was going to pry out of me what had happened, so better to deal with it now so I could get ready for brunch with Alex.
“What’s wrong?” Trevor caught up to me.
We didn’t need to have this conversation standing in the hallway, so I continued into my room followed closely by Trevor.
