Hope surged through me, giving me the strength to stand, but when I checked on Henry, he was still pinned motionless against the wall.
“Nick,” there was such pain in his voice, it chilled my icy flesh. “Please, Nick. Look at me.”
I followed the voice to the opposite side, and saw Henry standing in the mouth of the alley.
He was unharmed, but visibly upset. I blinked hard, sure my mind was finally breaking under the strain. Two Henrys? No, the real Henry was dead. This other must be a ghost.
“Oh, God.” My knees gave out and I hit the pavement hard. The tears came fast, I couldn’t see the spirit moving toward me. “It killed you and it’s my fault.”
“No, babe, I’m not dead.” The voice was closer but was faint, and laden with grief. “I’m right here.”
It wasn’t possible. Henry’s lifeless body was pinned to the wall, and I created this illusion to pretend I hadn’t caused his death. “I killed you,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “You told me to run, but I stayed and distracted you. The thing threw the dumpster… I saw… Heard it hit you.”
“Nick, listen to me.” Ghost-Henry moved closer, but his footsteps made no sounds. “This isn’t real. You’re dreaming.”
It really was a nightmare if my brain told me I was dreaming. I tried to look at him, but the pain in my chest was worse than the burning skin. “I should have left… not been so stupid. You were trying to protect me, and I—” Tears choked off the rest of my words.
“You didn’t kill me,” Ghost-Henry knelt in front of me, close enough that I could see the concern in his eyes. “You're hallucinating. None of this is real except me.”
Finally I found the strength to meet his gaze. Through the tears he seemed so solid, except for the desperation in his eyes. Henry was always a rock, my rock. It was cruel how my mind made my final image of him look so sad.
I squeezed my eyelids shut. “I can't do this,” I said, my voice barely audible. “Please, don’t be dead. Please! I didn’t mean it, Henry. I swear I didn’t.”
I couldn’t see through my tears, and my nose was so full I could hardly breathe. He touched me and I tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let go.
“Oh, Nick.” His voice reflected my pain back at me. “Please, listen to me. I’m not dead and neither are you.”
I tried to push him away, but I couldn’t because I didn’t want him to leave.
“Look at me, Nick,” Ghost-Henry's voice was gentle but insistent. “Really look at me and listen to what I’m saying. I’m sitting next to you on a bed, trying to keep you alive, but I’m losing you. You're drawing in too much energy, and if you don't stop, you're going to burn out.”
I glanced at Henry pinned against the wall. The sight of him broken, made me want to scream until my voice gave out. “I can't—I don't—” I struggled to find words through the suffocating grief. “It's my fault. I should’ve run. If— you’d still?—”
“Babe, stop. Please.” Ghost-Henry cupped my face and forced me to look at him. “This isn't your fault. None of it. The D'val was hunting you. I showed up to protect you.”
Henry might have done it on purpose, but by confusing me, a tiny bit of logic cut through my grief. “Why would it hunt me?”
“There's so much I need to explain.” Ghost-Henry wiped tears from my cheek. “Remember that night in Frederick I asked you to trust me and one day I’d tell you what I was holding back? I can tell you everything now.”
More curiosity further dulled my pain. “You can?”
“Yes, but you need to trust me again.” He finally smiled. “Can you do that? Just one more time. After this, I’ll never hold back anything.”
My voice didn’t work, so I nodded.
“Thank you.” He took my hands in his. “First, this is a dream, a nightmare your mind created after you saw me get hurt. I swear to you I am totally fine other than scared to death I’m going to lose you. The only danger left is what's happening to your body. That energy you used to kill the D’val? You're still pulling in more and it's killing you.”
I wanted to believe him desperately, but this felt like another trick my fractured mind played on me. “If this is a dream, why does everything hurt so much?”
“Because you’re burning yourself out, and it’s painful.” Ghost-Henry's expression softened. “Your mind is letting you feel your pain, hoping it will make you wake up. Right now, I'm holding your hand, trying to drain the excess energy before it burns you up from the inside.”
Something in his words resonated deep within me, cutting through the fog of grief. There was truth there, a truth I could feel but couldn't yet understand.
“I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m asking you to trust me, even if you don't fully understand.”
I looked away, and saw the D'val's broken form at the end of the alley start to twitch. Ghost-Henry followed my gaze. “It keeps coming back because you believe it will. This world only exists because you're creating it. The real D'val is dead, Nick. You and I killed it.”
I turned back to him, searching his face for any sign of deception. What if this was really my mind trying to cope with the guilt of causing Henry’s death? I didn’t want to wake up to a world where Henry had been killed.
