BENJAMIN CHICKENFACE BLUMENTHAL I CANNOT!!!!! BELIEVE!!!!!!! YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE WORKING FOR GASTRONOME I AM GOING TO KILL YOU
RENATA:
YOU’VE ONLY BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT SINCE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN
RENATA:
do mom and dad know????? god mom’s going to FLIP lolololol
RENATA:
ben?? you know this has gone SUPER viral right? like i just saw about six different people posting it on my feeds, it has like a couple million views i think
RENATA:
ben????????? are you dead???????
RENATA:
don’t make me call you for real
“Oh my God,” Ben says, staring down at his phone. His brain, short circuiting a little, naturally focuses on the important things first:
BEN:
My middle name is not “Chickenface.” That was the FIRST name of your childhood stuffed pig, which made us all worry that you couldn’t identify basic barnyard animals. Do NOT call me, it might make my phone explode
RENATA:
“chickenface” is a better middle name than “rochester”
BEN:
Be that as it may.
RENATA:
seriously: do mom and dad know??
BEN:
It’s not a thing, Ren. It was a one-off job. Leave it.
RENATA:
they’re GOING to find out u know
BEN:
I said leave it, okay?
RENATA:
ugh, you’re so annoying. congratulations u big stupid celebrity
RENATA:
haha celeBRATy
