The kitchen looked catastrophic. Like someone had survived a violent attack and this was the crime scene left behind.
“Oh god…”
The words tumbled out weakly while my gaze bounced from one disaster to the next.
“I’m so sorry.” My fingers curled against my stomach. “I’ll pay for this somehow, I swear.”
Rack looked around once before his eyes came back to me, then he smiled. A small, soft smile, like the shattered marble wasn’t what mattered.
“Are you okay?”
The question hit harder than it should have. Heat rushed into my cheeks, and I quickly looked away.
“Yes,” I muttered. Still staring at the floor, I grabbed my shorts and shoved them back on, officially embarrassed with myself.
“I’m fine. I just…” I swallowed hard, looking around again. “Got hungry?”
He nodded slowly, like he understood far more than I wanted him to, but how could he?
How could he understand what it felt like to lose control like that? To feel something inside me claw its way to the surface and take whatever it wanted?
I glanced back at him, opened my mouth, then shut it again. Everything that felt like the right thing to say just fell flat. I wanted to tell him it didn’t mean anything, but that would’ve been a lie because it was now very clear to me that I wanted them both.
Maybe the greedy monster inside me pushed me to it, but I couldn’t blame everything on her anymore.
“Do you want Calix?”
My head snapped up so fast my neck hurt, but he didn’t look angry. Didn’t look accusing. He just stood there, waiting for my answer.
Those dark amethyst eyes stayed locked on mine, steady and impossible to avoid. I didn't want to lie to him, but I didn't want to speak the truth out loud, so all I did was nod.
Then panic struck, so I rushed out, “But I want you too.”
The silence afterward nearly killed me. Words started spilling out before I could stop them.
“I’m sorry, Rack. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” My hands twisted together harder and harder. “I know this is insane. I know it doesn’t make sense, but every time I try not to feel it, it just gets worse. It’s like that hunger inside me keeps dragging me toward both of you, and I don’t know how to stop it.”
My voice cracked.
“I don’t know what to do.”
Tears blurred the room before I realized I was crying.
“Tell me what to do, Rack.” The words broke apart as they left me. “Just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll?—”
His arms wrapped around me before I could finish. The force of it stole the rest of the words from my mouth. and he held me tightly against his chest while I shook apart in his arms.
“It’s going to be okay.”
The kiss he pressed into my hair made my chest ache, but I melted against him instantly.He wouldn’t kiss me like that if he hated me… right?
“We’ll figure it out,” he murmured against my temple. “All three of us. We’ll make it work.”
His hand slowly slid up and down my back while my breathing finally started to calm.
“But for tonight,” he continued gently, “let’s get you to bed.”
I nodded weakly against his chest.
