When they finally managed to pull Conrad Fury from the coffin, the ceremony ended and the earth weighed down on what remained of Lester. Five days ago, we were dancing at the Senior Prom. Five days ago, we were making love in the back seat of his car. Today, he was buried. His existence a memory that grew more distant with each passing minute.
The crowd dispersed. I remained frozen, unresponsive, with no one to support me. Aunt Lizzie had been on vacation in Indonesia and, although she was on her way back, she hadn't been able to get a flight home in time, no matter how hard she tried. My mother and my half-sister, on the other hand, had made it very clear that this was ‘just the funeral’ of a ‘school boyfriend’ and that it ‘didn't deserve so much drama and attention,’ so they refused to accompany me. It was Officer Daniel who, as he had done many years ago, took me there, but he couldn't stay because of work. So, as it had always been since my Papa's death, it was just me and my loneliness.
I kept my eyes on the fresh earth, wondering if any of it was real. If the plans I had made for the future were really destroyed and buried there. If the happiness I tasted had really been stolen from me in such a cruel way.
I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even notice the woman standing next to me.
“You damn girl...” The groan of pain startled me. Senator Jones was right there, her angry eyes stabbing my heart. They were the same eyes Lester had. Eyes that reminded me that this nightmare was all too real. “IT IS YOUR FAULT!” she screamed, pointing a finger at me. People grabbed her, and I staggered a step backward. “IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU, MY LESTER WOULD STILL BE ALIVE!”
I couldn't respond. Just tremble. I trembled as if my body was preparing to collapse. And discovered that I still had many tears left when a sob escaped me.
“IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU!” I accepted that blame. I felt dirty, a useless monster, because I knew it was true. He had turned back becauseIhadn't been quick enough, becauseIhadn't been able to move in that dress, becauseIwas too heavy to be agile, becauseIhad been a coward who had frozen in the middle of the train tracks. That was exactly what I told the police. Lester saved my life; he died because of me. “YOU BASTARD!”
“Madeleine, for God's sake, that's enough.” The hoarse voice made my sobbing worse. “The girl isn't to blame for anything... Nobody is to blame for anything.”
“She killed our boy, Conrad!” The senator threw herself into the arms of her ex-husband, who immediately caught her.
“No, Madeleine. It was an accident. It was a fucking accident.”
I would never agree with Conrad Fury, but I was grateful for his words.
If someone else said anything to me after that, I couldn't recall. The world was happening around me, but I was barely aware of it. When I seemed to be alone, I staggered to the fresh earth and fell to my knees, rubbing my hands where Lester's body would now rest forever.
‘Flower Girl...’The memory of his words was like a sharp dagger. Bending forward, I felt the pain in my ribs, and my tears came in gulps.‘I love you forever, you know that?’If only I had known our forever would be so short, I would have broken the windows of that car and punctured the tires. I would have doneeverything in my power to keep him with me, away from all kinds of danger. If I had known, I would have held on to him and stayed on the train tracks.
Laying down on the fresh grave, I whimpered. I was so deep in that nightmare that I only noticed the figure crouching beside me when her soft hands caressed my back.
“Someone told me that we never know what awaits us in the next chapter, that if we give up, we'll never know what comes next.” The tearful female voice was familiar to me, but I couldn't place it. All I could feel was the cool earth on my face and the pain in my gut. “Daisy, please... You have to be strong.”
The hands were gentle and helped me up. I didn't know how, but I staggered out of the cemetery and into a car. Before I knew it, I was back home. In the entry hall, facing the indifferent gaze of a mother who couldn't even offer me a word of comfort and a sister who had thrown a tantrum because my crying kept her awake at night.
No, I wasn't home. I was in a den of vipers and I urgently needed to get out.
“How is Dr. Goodwin?” My mother's voice echoed with an indifference that turned my stomach.
Mom, couldn't you hug me just once? Couldn't you tell me that everything is going to be okay?
“My father is well, Mrs. Parker—”
“Stevens. Parker was my ex-husband's name.”
The correction snapped me out of my stupor. I was still in the hall of that damn house, facing my cruel mother and my bratty half-sister, who flashed a sly smile at the person next to me.
I swallowed hard.
The person next to me was none other than Olivia. Olivia Goodwin.
“I'm sorry, Mrs. Stevens,” Olivia replied, stroking my arms. I knew that if she let go of me, I would collapse on that mosaic floor. “If you don't mind, I'd like to take Daisy to her room. She needs to rest.”
“I'm afraid that’s not possible.” My mother's statement paralyzed me once again. It wasn’t possible? "Savannah is very psychologically affected by this situation. She has hardly slept because of all the crying. I already spoke to Daisy's aunt on the phone, and my husband already took her things to her aunt’s apartment. We were just waiting for Daisy to return from the funeral to take her there."
“Oh.” Olivia seemed choked up, but I... I felt a tingling sensation in my flesh. An anger, a resentment, a hatred that I had never allowed myself to feel. “If you give me the address, I'll take Daisy there myself and—”
My laughter silenced Olivia. I broke free from her hands with a strength that came from nowhere. With a painful smile on my face, I approached my mother and sister.
“Did you ever love me, Mama?” My mother's face paled. I knew she was about to retort, but I didn't let her. “Tell me, when you look at me, what do you see? My Papa? Or the onlywitness to your lack of character? The witness of every time you welcomed Officer Daniel into our home and cheated on my Papa without any remorse?”
I took the slap without a sound.
