He stills my hips, then frames my face with his hands. The kiss changes again. A firm claim. His eyes hold a promise of what’s to come, even as he slowly pulls away. I grab for him and try to tug him back, but he brings a palm to the center of my chest, right over my heart, gently holding me off. “If we don’t stop now, I’m going to cross another thing off my romance novel bucket list and fuck you right here in the storage closet.”
“W-would that be so bad?” Just the thought of itmakes my core throb. I clench my legs together and let out a slow, steadying breath.
I was crazy to think I could walk away from this and relegate him to some magical memory. I can’t fight whatever this is between us. I have to let it run its course. Even if that leads to heartbreak.
I want to experience all of it while I can, before he figures out what a mess I am and changes his mind. I want to make memories with him that are so exceptional, so extreme and crazy and beautiful, that I’ll look back on them with pleasure when I’m sixty and alone. Because I already know he’s going to break me. Shatter my heart and wreck me for all other men. How could anyone else compete with stopping time? With that kiss?
“Another day.” He curls a piece of my hair around his finger and shakes his head. “I want the first time I’m with you to be as magical as everything else about this. You’re a poem, Hazel, and you deserve to be read slowly… under spotlights.” His lips quirk up, revealing those dimples, and this time I don’t stop myself from licking his cheek. Which just makes him laugh more. He buries the sound in my shoulder, because time is moving forward again.
“I can hear you in there,” someone calls from the other side of the door. It sounds an awful lot like Rose.Knock. Knock. Knock.
Cosmos wraps his arms around me and holds me still, his palm rubbing up and down my back, while we wait for whoever is outside to go away so we canmake our escape. Only, I’m not eager to escape. I want to stay here as long as I can. Cosmos must feel the same because he looks at me and time stops, throwing us into silence.
“Tell me something about you?” he whispers.
It feels like a dangerous question. A question that could go anywhere, from my favorite color to my greatest fear. It’s too open-ended. I don’t know what he’s looking for.
“What do you want to know?” I ask, pressing against every frantic heartbeat.
“Besides everything?” His fingers trail down my neck and along the collar of my shirt. “Let’s start with family. It’s just you and your mom?”
I nod, not wanting to encourage this line of questioning.
“Did… your dad die?”
“That would be easier.” I look away and let out a nervous laugh.
Knock. Knock.“The storage closet isn’t a make-out place. Rookie mistake, interns. This is how you get caught.” The voice from the other side of the door is growing more and more frustrated.
“Someone sounds jealous,” Cosmos whispers.
He takes my chin in his hands and draws my face back so I’m looking at him again. “Tell me about your dad.”
I sigh. “We should go. I don’t want you getting in trouble.”
It’s clear I’m deflecting. If I wanted to talk about it, we could, as long as we look at each other. But, Idon’t like talking about what happened with my dad under the best of circumstances, and nothing sounds more uncomfortable than having to look Cosmos in the eye while I tell him the story.
His expression falls for a fraction of a second, and he looks away.
There’s a loud huff from the other side of the door. “Fine. I’m going to get a key, so you better be out by the time I get back.”
Cosmos kisses my forehead, a feather-light touch, and it’s clear he’s giving up his line of questioning. I’m not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed.
“I’ll make sure the coast is clear,” he says, stepping away. He peeks his head out the door. Once he’s sure it’s safe, he grabs my hand and leads me out into the hall and back through the double doors that require a key card.
When we round the corner that leads to the elevators, we spot Dr. Barbie with the resident I spilled soup on a few weeks ago. Cosmos lets go of my hand immediately, but not before Samantha notices. She’s like a Cosmos homing beckon. I wonder if they have some kind of history together.
The smile she gives us is strained.
“My mom signed out today,” I blurt out, wanting to erase the tension, but immediately realizing she probably already knows.
Dr. Barbie looks at Cosmos with raised eyebrows and pinched lips. The other resident smirks and shakes his head. Cosmos doesn’t take my hand again. I thought it was okay for us to be together now thatMom isn’t a patient, but the way they’re reacting makes me think it’s not as cut and dry as that.
“Are you both headed to lunch?” Cosmos’ smile doesn’t reach his eyes. I’m not sure when I figured out the difference between his real smile and his fake one, but I know this is completely fake. There’s something strained at the edges of it, like there’s more going on here than I understand.
The elevator opens with a ding, and a woman with a small boy gets off. Dr. Barbie steps into the elevator and holds open the door.
“Yeah, you coming?” the other resident replies to Cosmos’ question.
