By some miracle I hadn’t peed my own pants but still, I knew there was something seriously wrong with my body.
As soon as my bindings were removed, I crumpled to the ground and heaved out a stream of bile. It nearly hit the woman’s shoes who’d been so kind to help me.
“Cain, I’m Nurse Jane. I’m going to take you to my office to examine you. Do you think you can walk?”
Did I think I could walk? My vision pitched as I attempted to stand, but by sheer force of will, I compelled my legs to move underneath me and held onto her sharp shoulder for support. She had a sturdy framefor someone so small. It was the kind of muscle that boasted a regular workout routine. Maybe she did CrossFit. If she was able to hold my weight up, she could easily toss a large tire without breaking a sweat, I’d bet money on it.
She shouldered my weight, and somehow, I was putting one foot in front of the other.
“Go back to your room, Delilah, and I won’t report you,” Nurse Jane said. There was a silent ‘this time’ that hung in the air as Delilah gave me one last look, squeezed my hand with her frozen digits, and scurried away.
I hoped she didn’t get caught.
CHAPTER 8
DELILAH
Cain wasout for a full two weeks after I found him in that room of nightmares. But when he came back, all of his classes were changed. And worst of all? He wouldn’t look at me.
The rock I’d leaned on to get me through the days had crumbled, and it was all my fault. If I had simply minded my own business and kept to myself, he wouldn’t have felt the need to protect me. I knew we couldn’t be anything now, knew it was impossible to even hope, but I had stupidly given into that curiosity. To that desire I felt low in my gut every time I saw him.
It was foolish and naive. And now I felt more alone than ever.
To cope with the loss, I focused on my schoolwork, ignoring the jabs of my roommates who found it hilarious that Cain wanted nothing to do with me. I watched sullenly as they threw themselves at him when the monitors weren’t looking. Pretending like it didn’t bother me. If he did manage to look at me, it was brief and his eyes were full of something I couldn’t name. It looked like regret, but my brain interpreted it as hatred. I wouldn’t blame him if he did hate me.
We were edging closer to the end of the school year, and I wondered what it would feel like to be back home with my parents. Back in the room I was taken from. I hadn’t seen or spoken to them since I got here. Was mom still wearing her hair in that bob that cutright at her angular chin? The same chin I inherited from her. Was dad still setting the tone of the house with his ever-changing mood, making her pay for his bad days? Had she taken my place at the edge of his fists? Did they care that they’d missed my birthday?
A large yard stick came down hard with a smack, making my desk vibrate and my body flinch. At the other end of the stick was Pastor John, looking at me with a mix of malice and glee. You would think those two emotions couldn’t be portrayed together, but he managed to pull it off effortlessly. While his mouth pulled into a cruel, tilted smile, his eyes shone with amusement at causing me visible discomfort. I’d become an expert in reading him, but my distress over Cain had me distracted.
Pastor John leaned over onto my desk, his muscled forearm flexing with the movement. With him so close, I could smell his gut-churning cologne and a hint of coffee breath.
I focused on the shine of his black polished shoes, trying my best to look contrite for whatever supposed sin I’d committed this time. Since Cain had been moved to another class time, Pastor John seemed to focus more and more of his attention on me. And none of it was good.
Every day that I walked to this room had my body feeling like I was hooked up to a constant electrical current. My skin buzzed and twitched, and it took all my energy to stay upright, fighting against the urge to run. Everything in me was warning me not to go into this room, and yet there was no escape. No way to avoid the danger. I was locked in with the monsters. Forced to sit, and listen, and exist. To be constantly told that I was a worthless sinner and that my only value came from my ability to birth children to a future husband who would most likely treat me just like I had been my entire life. Fuck, I was so sick of it.
“What do we do to girls who can’t listen, Eve?”
“You punish them,” I said, in a submissive tone, though internally all I wanted to do was scream and claw his eyes out.
“That’s right. You’re catching on,” he praised, unhooking his belt from his pants and sliding it through the loops slowly. The malice etched into his face like a second skin told me he was enjoying every second of my torment.
I knew what was coming and submitted to my fate as I choked back the tears that were threatening to spill over my lashes. I wouldn’t let him see me break.
My arm was snatched from around the bicep by his powerful hand, feeling the metal part of his belt digging into my flesh. As he pulled, my feet slipped on the tile. Pastor John held onto me even harder and scoffed like I was an irritation to him. He hauled me over to the front of the class, breathing hard.
Out of habit, my eyes landed on the desk that Cain used to occupy, but it was empty.
My stomach sank to my feet as I was forced onto my knees in penance for my sins. God, I hated this man and I hoped karma would find his address soon.
My hands were tied tightly behind my back with his black leather belt while my face was pressed down into the dirty linoleum floor. It smelled like old lemons and bleach. My skirt became bunched up over my hips unceremoniously, showing off my ass to the entire classroom. I could feel their eyes on me. Watching with bated breath to see my humiliation.
At least the black underwear I chose was clean. As usual, he made no move to cover me up but left me there on display like the pervert he was.
Breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth helped me pass the time as that familiar numbness settled into my limbs.
He rambled on about the kingdom of heaven and the punishments of hell, emphasizing how it was our job to save humanity from itself.
“We’ll never get to those golden lain streets if we don’t spread the gospel far and wide. And it’s our responsibility to tell the world the good news! That we are unconditionally loved by the one true king!”
