“Ladies. Ten minutes. Oh, don’t you look beautiful, Delilah!” My mom’s church friend, Tandy, said. She was the same age as my mother, only she had chunky blonde highlights and a sharp, sleek bob that cut at her jawline. The diamonds that she wore around her neck and in her ears were enough to sink a small ship.
My mother jabbed me with her elbow, and I muttered a small thank you as Tandy left us in a cloud of Chanel No. 9.
I hadn’t seen Pastor John since that fateful day. Or I guess I should call him John now, since he was about to become my husband. My stomach threatened to empty my breakfast of toast and butter all over the front of my dress as that word slid across my brain.
Husband.
Actually, vomiting might improve the dress.
My eyes were rimmed red from crying all night, and I’d spent the better part of the morning considering how I could escape. I made elaborate plans in my mind, each one more preposterous and untenable than the next.
Since joining the circus and becoming homeless weren’t feasible options, I pulled the gauzy veil down over my face and wished it would smother me.
Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as I was imagining. A life with Pastor John… John. I could learn to tip toe around him. I had a lifetime of practice and knew the steps well. Though all that practice still hadn’t saved me from frequent lashings.
My mother handed me a fresh bouquet of white roses that looked like they were being choked to death with baby’s breath. I’d never related to a flower more.
In a daze, my feet carried me forward, stepping through the arched doorway with my father gripping my arm. I blinked hard at him, but he wouldn’t even look at me.
In his eyes, I was damaged goods now. A problem to be solved, and what better way to solve it than to hand me off for someone else to deal with.
At the end of the aisle stood John in a black suit and his signature slicked back hair. He wore a smile that could rival a politician’s with how fake it looked to me. Not once did his gaze leave mine as I walked as slowly as I could manage. He looked utterly triumphant. It made me want to punch him square in that smug, stupid face.
Music swelled all around me as onlookers watched with mixed reactions. Some seemed judgmental, and others appeared delighted. None made a move to stop this monstrosity from occurring. No one jumped up and yelled out any objections either as the pastor declared us husband and wife.
It happened so quickly that when Pastor John… John, went to remove my veil, I flinched. That self-assured smile he’d been wearing faltered, his lips folding into a hard line before catching himself and smiling again with more force. Only his eyes didn’t join him in the smile. His eyes were hard and the right one twitched, but then he leaned down and my heart thundered so hard I couldn’t hear anything but the whooshing in my ears. My body wanted to run. But I froze. I felt the heat from the audience’s stare. Watching me. Expecting this to be a beautiful moment when two people become one. But it wasn’t beautiful. It was heinous. It was wrong.
And then, in front of everyone, I fainted right as his lips met mine.
CHAPTER 16
DELILAH
“You embarrassed me tonight,”I heard a masculine voice say as my eyes fluttered open to find nothing but darkness.
Where was I?
Trying to move, I heard the distinct rustle of my dress and felt a wave of nausea rock through my body. It was dark wherever I was, but I remembered with a pang, the wedding. My senses alerted me to the sensation that I was in a bed. Maybe the hotel’s where we were supposed to spend our wedding night.
“You should know, I have certain expectations from you, now that you’re my wife.”
That voice. It was John’s. And from what I gathered, we were alone together in the dark. The bed dipped and I could faintly make out a dark shadow coming to sit next to me. His hand steadied my shoulder and on instinct I ripped free from his grasp.
“Now, see here. As my wife, you’ll let me touch you when I see fit. You hear me?” A hint of southern twang melded in his words. He was so close to me that I could feel his body heat radiating into my side. His fingers found my thigh, and I willed my body to stay still, despite the urge to pull away from him. “You won’t be telling a soul about what happened between us. You and I know the truth and it’ll staythat way.” His hand dug into my flesh harder, an unspoken threat of his power.
It was on the tip of my tongue to say that Cain knew the truth too, but history had taught me it would be better to stay silent. So, I did. I used that silence like a weapon because it was the only one I had.
“Tomorrow, I’ll take you to my house and have you move your things in. I’ll show you our baby’s room.” His hand moved to my hair and tucked a piece of it behind my ear. He was so close I could feel his breath. “I could tell that very first day I saw you that you’d be a good wife for me, Delilah. You won’t disappoint me, will you?”
“No, sir,” I said, knowing the response he wanted.
“Good.” His lips met my cheek and my face twitched on impact.
“You’ll learn in time to love me, Delilah.” I breathed out a sharp breath to keep myself from saying what I wanted to that. The day I ever loved that fucker would be the day he was in the dirt. Six feet deep. I’d love him like that.
“Now get some rest. I need that baby in your belly to turn out strong and healthy.”
He got up and left me huddled in a tiny ball, still in the wedding dress I loathed almost as much as I loathed him.
