The fucking squirrel interrupted my thoughts, and I stormed out of the control room, finding the furry thing eating through the wood on my deck.
My hands waved him off, but he looked at me like I was an annoyance, continuing to destroy my property. This little fucker. That was it. I was ordering a cage and hauling his ass out of here first thing. But as I stood on the porch, the scent of impending rain hit my nose. A quick search told me we were in for a rough night of storms and I groaned, going to check the generator. If my power failed, then all the safety measures I had in place around my property would go dark, and it would place us in a vulnerable position.
While Ace might have been the only one to know my true identity, I couldn't trust that he was the only one that had access to it. We were new acquaintances, and yeah, he helped me out of a bind, solidifying our bond in a mutual hatred of Kingston. But I didn't know the dude. And definitely didn't know if his files were secure. For all I knew, maybe my real information was out there, and the Crusaders were waiting for me to drop my guard.
I sounded paranoid even to myself, but I guess that's what happens when your life is snatched from you and you spend five years in prison for a crime you didn't even commit. In order to feel safe, I had to be thinking ten steps ahead. With the generator checked and thedoors triple locked, I finally calmed down enough to take a shower and order a round of groceries.
Whoever invented grocery delivery was a genius. It allowed me to stay right the fuck here and keep an eye on Delilah without having to leave the comfort of my home. Everything was deliverable now. It was one of the many changes that I'd happily embraced since my release from prison.
Just a few clicks and I could have anything I wanted. Egg nog? S’mores? Coffee? A coffee maker? Done. Delivered within 24 hours. It was fucking wild. And the streaming services? I bought them all not knowing what movies or shows Delilah would be into. She seemed thoroughly entertained with reruns ofFriends. Laughing at all the jokes and sometimes I would catch her even talking back to the television like the characters could hear her.
"What do you mean you were on a break! That's a bad boyfriend, Rachel. Dump him," she said the other day. I shook my head at how fucking cute she was. She wasn't wrong. Ross was a dick to Rachel, in my opinion, while I watched along with her from the control room. Though, watching a show through the cameras wasn't ideal. In a perfect world, I would be sitting next to her on the bed with a bowl of popcorn between us, not watching in the next room unable to get past the trauma that had locked my voice away.
Google hadn't been much help when I searched how to start talking again. It all said the same thing: Get therapy.
I'm sure that was fine for other people but going to a complete stranger sounded out of the question for me.
Yes, hi, hello, I have a girl locked up in my house and I tried to murder her husband, thoughts?
I’d pass. No, I could figure this out. I mean I'm the one that stopped talking in the first place, so I theoretically could figure out how to start again. Right?
I had to hope so, because we couldn't continue much longer like this.
CHAPTER 29
DELILAH
Thunder brokethrough the silence of my room waking me from a dead sleep, and my body instinctively reacted. All those times where I was assaulted under the cover of a storm came flooding back. And my body remembered. Suddenly, I was shaking. Feeling like I was going to die. Was this it? How I went? My hand pressed down onto my chest, and I could feel my heart racing, thrumming so loud that it pounded in my ears. My brain was convinced something was deeply wrong and I felt it everywhere. Even in my toes.
“Let me out! LET! ME! OUT!!” Tears streamed down my face as I pounded against the door with my fists. I had to get out. I needed to leave.
The masked man burst into the room, rushing to my side. I went to take a swing at him, but he gripped me holding my arms down.
I thrashed against him, fully immersed in the panic that stabbed me deep in the gut, roiling through every nerve. “Let me out!” I cried again as another wave of thunder rolled through the floor.
And then I heard him. It was soft and full of gravel, but I heard it. A quiet, “Shhh. I’ve got you.”
My spine went straight.
Something about that voice speared my brain like a harpoon. Who was this man behind the mask? And why did I feel myself relaxing inhis grasp? Was it because we’d had sex? That couldn’t be it. I’d slept with John hundreds of times and never once felt relaxed near him.
Maybe it was just a neurological response. Something wholly unrelated to whoever it was hiding under there. But instinct told me that wasn’t it.
“Did you… was that… you said something to me.”
My eyes tracked the glassy tint of the mask trying to see past the dark sheen. All I saw in there was my own panicked reflection.
And then he nodded and whatever anxiety I was feeling quieted. The shaking in my body stalled and I felt him release the pressure around my arms. He was still holding me though, and our bodies were pressed up tightly against each other. I could feel the sharp ridges of his muscled chest brush against my breasts with each rise and fall of his breath. My hands gripped onto his biceps and flexed. He was strong. And alluring. And had me thinking about earlier, and how good he’d made me feel.
Maybe it was the adrenaline still kicking around in my veins but something bold came over me then and I found myself moving my hands up to his shoulders. He didn’t pull away. If anything, I felt his chest begin to rise faster.
“I want…” I said, reaching the bottom of his mask with the tips of my fingers. They were trembling. “I want to see you.”
He went still. I felt his fingers grip onto my hips, but he didn’t push me away. He didn’t say no and so I began to tug.
A strong, sharp jawline appeared. Then two full lips that quivered as I continued to pull. Just as I was about to get over his nose, he stopped me. Grabbing onto my hands with his.
“That’s enough,” he said. That voice again. So rough it sounded like he hadn’t spoken in ages. I stopped immediately, but then he licked his lips and lunged towards me like he couldn’t wait another second. His mouth met mine and I inhaled sharply.
