A sob claws its way up my throat, and I quickly turn my head into the pillow to stifle my cry.
My shoulders shake as I let it all out, tears soaking into the cotton pillowcase beneath me. I let myself have this moment, even as a part of me feels pathetic for it.
When my body physically can’t produce another tear, I push myself up from the mattress and swipe my fingers along my cheeks. I close my eyes and draw in a slow breath.
Get it together.
You have to get it together, Meadow.
I force myself to move, to do something to quiet my sorrow before it swallows me whole.
I stand from the bed and decide that the first thing I need to do is get out of this dress that's now filled with sand. I reach behind me and feel the zipper sticking halfway down, my hands shaking too much to get a proper grip.
“Come on,” I mutter in frustration.
After a few attempts, it finally gives as the soft fabric loosens around my body and falls to the floor. Within seconds, I rip off my strapless bra and push my panties down my legs.
I walk into the bathroom, fully naked, desperate to get into the hot shower and wash away the remnants of tonight.
But before I can make it to the shower, the mirror greets me first, bringing me to a stop.
God, I look absolutely pitiful.
Black smudges sit beneath my eyes where my mascara has run, my lips and cheeks red and swollen from crying. My hair is tangled, slightly matted from the wind, and my eyes look… empty. Like all the life has drained out of me.
I stare at myself for a moment, so disappointed that I allowed this week to turn into this.
How could I have been so stupid as to have let things between Owen and me go this far?
There’s no coming back from this. We’ll never be able to rebuild the friendship we once had.
My hands grip the edge of the marble countertop as I close my eyes and dip my head forward.
I’m so fucking naïve.
This was always going to end like this.
After a week in Costa Cay, Owen is still caught up in the vacation haze. He’s convinced himself that I’m the woman he wants, trying so hard to make me believe that we could actually work.
I’m sure he thinks I’m incredibly cruel after walking away like that, leaving him alone on the dark beach. But ending this now is the only kind thing I can do for him… For us.
Because the second we leave this magical place and go back to the real world, everything will come crashing down.
Our old lives will hit us all at once, back in the cold, gray reality of Chicago.
It’s easier to walk away now than to fall even harder in love with him and face the irreparable heartbreak that would come later.
As much as I want to run to him, I can’t let myself.
Because if I stay, if I let him talk me into believing this could work, if I let him look at me with those emerald eyes or touch me in the intoxicating way he does, I know I will fold.
I will believe him. And I will fall deeper than ever before, giving him every last piece of me.
I know that if I gave my heart to Owen, only to find out he was wrong, it would ruin me beyond repair.
And that’s why I have to make the hardest decision of my life.
I have to leave.
