I will lose not only what we shared last week, but also my best friend.
If I don’t do something now, Meadow will shut me out completely.
No.
No, I’m not letting that happen.
I’m done sitting around, pretending that distance is going to fix this. I’m not letting Meadow convince herself that we don’t fit when I know that we’ve both been wanting this—fighting this—for years.
She’s allowed to be scared. She can take a minute to breathe and process everything that’s happened between us.
But I’m not letting her walk away from me without knowing that I did everything in my power to get her back.
This isn’t over, not even close.
My fingers tighten around my keys as I turn and head for the door.
There’s no second-guessing or overthinking it.
I’m going to her. End of story.
Heads turn as I move quickly through the office, but I don’t have time to stop and explain. I don’t slow down, don’t stop totell my manager, don’t pretend that anything else matters more than running to her.
Because it doesn’t. I could lose everything in my life and still be okay… as long as I have her. But without Meadow, I would be a shell of myself. I would have nothing.
She can avoid me all she wants, tell herself that walking away is the right thing to do.
But she’s not getting rid of me, not without hearing me out first.
By the time I reach my car, I fire up the engine, my breath uneven as I wrap my fingers tightly around the steering wheel.
I told her I’m in love with her, now I’m going to prove it.
TWENTY-NINE
Meadow
I haven’t moved from the couch in hours.
Time feels irrelevant as I lie on my side, blinking slowly as I stare off into space.
The TV is on, but I couldn't tell you what’s playing. My phone could be ringing with an emergency, but I have no idea where it is.
Late last night, I texted my boss and my coworker, Amy, letting them know I wouldn't be in today. After that, I have no idea where I put my phone. I don’t care.
I couldn't care less if my boss is angry at me for calling in on my first day back from vacation.
And the only reason I decided to text Amy is that I knew Owen would worry. Out of everyone in the office, Amy is closest to both of us. I knew he would ask her if she’d seen me, and she’d let him know that I’m ‘sick.’
I might not be sick with the flu or a virus, but I feel like I'm dying. I never knew that a broken heart could make your body physically ache, draining you of all your energy.
My apartment looks nothing like me.
Laundry is scattered across the floor, a bowl of ramen that I’ve barely touched sits on the coffee table next to a half-empty Diet Coke, and my suitcase still sits near the front door.
It’s wide open, clothes spilling out because I’ve been using it as my closet since I got home.
I haven't had the motivation to unpack, make a proper meal, or even do…anything.
