“I’m not the only one who scored tonight. Hunter and Reilly scored too, and so did you, Heston.”
We beat UCLA six-zero.
“True,” Vaughn Heston insists. “But none of us scored a hat trick. And you didn’t even get that much ice time considering that Coach wanted to make sure we all got plenty of ice time.”
When they finally put him down, Mack comes to sit on the bench opposite our lockers. “And goals aren’t everything.” He says, slapping me on the back. “Let’s not forget our Col, who served me three perfect assists.”
“I just did my job.” I chime in. “Let’s not forget our amazing goalie. We scored a lot tonight, but UCLA wasn’t hopeless. They tried everything in their power to get past Tucker, but he was on fire.”
“It’s true!” Mack agrees. “Without Tucker, it wouldn’t have been a shutout. Maybe we wouldn’t have even won. UCLA was aggressive as fuck. But we have the best goalie in the division.”
Tucker usually loves praise, and this time is no different. “Aww, thanks guys. I love you too.” He smiles as he’s almost done undressing.
“Tucker, Tucker, Tucker!” The whole locker room begins to chant.
And while I might not be the best at accepting praise, Tucker embraces it with every fiber of his being.
He takes off his infamous lucky underpants and climbs onto the bench. “Go Knights, go Knights!” he chants, spinning the padded underpants over his head. “I’m gonna throw these. The one who catches them will have the luckiest season.” Tucker announces.
I chuckle as my best friend turns his back to the rest of the team and then, like a bride throwing her bouquet, flings his pants in the air behind him.
Tucker’s back is to the locker room door, so he can’t see how the door opens the second he throws his pants.
He also can’t see Coach Harrison entering the locker room with his assistant coach and one of the physical therapists.
Silence descends on the room.
“What’s up? Who’s the lucky motherfucker who caught them? Oh, shit.”
Tucker freezes in terror when he sees why we’ve all gone quiet.
“I’m the lucky motherfucker.” Coach Harrison takes the protective boxers off his face and holds them away from his body by the waistband. “Prescott, I’ve seen thousands of jocks in my day. But let me tell you that I’ve never seen anything more disgusting than these. Are you sure you don’t need another physical? These smell like death.”
I swear on my NHL contract, I’ve never seen Tucker blush like this before. He’s practically purple.
“No, sir.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m fine,sir.”
There’s no doubt in my mind that Tucker isn’t embarrassed by the fact that he’s buck naked. I think it’s more because his lucky underwear landed on Coach’s face.
“But are you fine, Prescott?” Coach hands him back his protective underwear with a visible shudder of disgust. “That smell can’t be normal. You must have some kind of infection.”
“No, Coach. I promise I’m fine. Those are my lucky pants and they smell a little…intensebecause they haven’t been washed since my first official NCAA game my freshman year.”
He explains the story we’ve all heard every time someone challenges him about how disgusting his protective boxers are.
“I see,” Coach nods. “If that’s the case, keep up the excellent work, son. But for the love of all that’s holy, keep that biohazard shit contained. I’m on board with anything that brings us favorable juju, but I hope I never have to come so close to your good luck charm again.”
“Sorry, sir.” Tucker hangs his head.
Coach looks around the locker room. “Ladies, I came here to say that I’m impressed with your performance tonight. For a bunch of slacker pain in my asses, you played your hearts out. But this was just the first game of the preseason, and we have a lot of work to do if we want to win the second championship in a row.”
A choir of “Yes, sir!” echoes in the locker room.
“This is why,” the smile on Coach’s face doesn’t promise anything good. “I want to see you tomorrow bright and early for morning skate.AndI’m issuing a curfew for 9 p.m. tonight.”
The mood in the locker room changes at that announcement.
“What?” Vaughn wails. “But we were gonna hit the town to celebrate our W.”
