I can only imagine how Tucker and Colsen would react if they knew. I can’t tell them. If I don’t tell them, though, our relationship would be based on a lie.
A loud, shrill sound makes me jump out of my own skin.
“Fuck.” I put a hand on my racing heart and let out a loud, hysterical laugh. “It’s the timer. It scared the shit out of me.”
Maybe I need to change the alarm tune to something less annoying. Doing laundry seemed such a good idea earlier; a productive way of using my time since I didn’t feel up to a loud, crowded party. Now, though, I’m reluctant to leave the safe cocoon of my apartment. I’d rather go to bedthan switch the clothes from the washers to the dryers and then wait until everything is done.
I push off the couch with a frustrated huff. Now I have no choice but to see this through. Leaving my stuff in the washers or dryers all night would be rude in case people wanted to use the laundry room early in the morning.
The eco lights in the hallway come to life as I walk to the elevator. I don’t bump into anyone on my way down to the basement. Everything is quiet. You’d never be able to tell that there’s a party underway on the ground floor. I guess when they said it would be a quieter shindig compared to the party a couple of weeks ago, they meant it.
A couple of weeks ago, we had no idea that socializing with the hockey team was a no-no. I can’t help but think that if we had known, maybe Tucker and Colsen wouldn’t have spent that night out on the pier with me. What happened at the club on the night of Tucker’s birthday would have definitely been just a fever dream if we’d known that being together could get me kicked off the team.
The thought hits me suddenly as the elevator doors open to the basement level. I don’t care. Yes, dancing is important to me, and making a living doing what I love would be a dream come true. But not at the expense of letting go of real love.
Maybe I’m a fool to think that this thing with Tucker and Colsen could last indefinitely. But I’ve never felt this way before for anyone.
If push came to shove, I wouldn’t hesitate to give up everything for them. But do they feel the same way? Or am I just a fun distraction during summer training? Will they still want to be with me and not make me choose between them when they’re back on campus with everygirl—and a lot of boys—on campus vying for their attention?
Will they look at me like Nash did the last time we talked? Like I’m not worth the trouble?
This is why I’m staying the course for now. I don’t want to give up this once in a lifetime opportunity for something that might just be a dream. What happened to Jodie should be a cautionary tale.
If her long-term boyfriend hadn’t dumped her out of the blue, she would be opening her dance studio in New York while Andy began his career on Wall Street.
Men are fickle.My mom repeated that every day until I left for college. She had to raise me by herself when her husband—my father—decided that the obligations of parenthood weren’t his jam. So I have plenty of examples that following your heart without building something solid for yourself is a recipe for disaster.
A strange feeling makes me turn to look behind my back as I switch the wet clothes to the dryer.
My eyes dance over every corner of the dimly lit laundry room. There’s no one else here.
“If only they hadn’t put these eco lights everywhere.” I say to the empty room. “You can barely see anything, and the poor lighting makes you feel like something is lurking in the shadows.”
Sometimes voicing your fears out loud is a way to exorcise them, but not this time.
A shudder works its way down my spine, and goosebumps appear on my arms and legs.
I need to hurry up and go back to the safety of my room. Maybe I should hang the clothes to air dry upstairs so I don’t have to come back down here tonight.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” I say to myself out loud. “I’malone here. Everyone is at the party or probably asleep by now.”
My own words do nothing to ease the feeling of being watched.
If this were a horror movie, the monster would be right behind me. Ready to attack me the second I let my guard down.
My skin feels cold and clammy at the thought. Fuck this. I’m gonna go back upstairs and come back when this drying cycle is over. If the clothes are still wet then I’ll spread them out all over my room and let them air dry.
I do another scan of the laundry room and exhale a shuddering breath when I don’t see anyone.
“Let’s get out of here for now.” I say it out loud to feel like I’m not really alone.
My phone buzzes in my pocket. I expect it to be the guys or one of my roommates trying to convince me to go to the party.
But the message on the screen comes from an unknown number.
Unknown:I see you.
My head turns left and right and behind me. I’m definitely alone.
