He took a deep inhale, then let it out slowly. “You’ve been distant.”
It wasn’t a question, but a statement. And he wasn’t wrong. He didn’t even live here anymore, yet he still knew I’d built a wall between myself and everyone else. Family. Friends. Everyone. Ididn’t know how to explain what it felt like without sounding like I was whining.
I nodded. “Yeah. I have been.” There was no use in denying it, but I wasn’t ready to dive in just yet. Judging by the look on his face, he’d already rehearsed this conversation anyway.
His expression turned pensive—thoughtful, even. “I know a lot has gone down with you moving back in, hockey, Dad’s indiscretions, and this surprise half-sibling who’s moving in…” He stopped, seemingly searching for the right words.
“You don’t have to tiptoe around the wholedyingthing, you know,” I said, attempting to break the ice.
Wyatt chucked sheepishly. “I’m not trying to, Ash,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “There’s just something shitty about bringing up the fact that your brother is dying—something that I haven’t truly come to terms with.”
The air filled with unspoken words. “You don’t have to come to terms with it until I’m dead,” I finally said.
When he looked up at me, he understood. He had been treating me like I was already dying, all the while forgetting that I was still very much alive. His eyes softened, the same eyes our father had given us, and he smiled. “You’re right. I think we’re all just so fixated on the disease that we’re forgetting you’re just trying to live.” He shook his head. “And then Dad hits you with the whole ‘you have a sister’ bullshit. Wow. No wonder you’re putting up walls.”
Chuckling, I dipped my head to the side. “Well, yeah. That’s a whole other problem I haven’t even really addressed, if I’m being honest.”
“You should get to know her—Mila, that is,” he said, treading lightly.
“Yeah, I know. I’m not hostile toward her—just Dad. I couldn’t believe he did that to Mom, you know? She’d been afucking rock our entire lives, and what, he just thought he could do better?”
I felt anger rise as I pondered the situation as a whole in my head all over again.
“I know, I know. But that was forever ago. He made mistakes, and he’s made up for them along the way, otherwise Mom would’ve kicked him to the curb.” He paused before adding, ever the voice of reason, “Speaking of which, you had a pretty big outburst at dinner about having a girlfriend, and I don’t even hear about it?”
I turned toward the blender and started mixing the ingredients, needing something in my stomach to carry on this conversation with him. Fuck. How was I supposed to tell him about Lennon—that she wasn’t really my girlfriend, but a girl I was helplessly falling for unexpectedly?
“Um, it’s complicated,” I blurted out without thinking.
“Complicated? Already?” The smirk on his face was unavoidable.
I smiled to myself and let out a huffed chuckle. “That’s not even the half of it, man.”
“She must be a wildfire to have you all muddled. I don’t remember the last time I saw that look on your face over a girl—if ever.”
Lennon did have me twisted in knots. How could I tell her how I felt without making her take off running? She was so complicated—so fragile, yet resilient and strong all at the very same time. Fuck, she was the strongest woman I knew. She gripped death by the balls and saidjust wait, I’ll be seeing you soon,without regard for the consequences. I couldn’t tell whether that part about her impressed me or crushed me into a pulp.
“She’s something, Wyatt. I’ve never met anyone like her before.” I knew I’d said it out loud, but it felt like it was designed for only my ears.
“Well, I’d love to meet her…” Wyatt trailed off, something else catching his attention.
I followed his gaze and saw Mila, appearing to want to join us, as she stood there at the bottom of the staircase.
“I don’t mean to interrupt you guys,” she said, cowering slightly.
We shook our heads in unison. “You’re not. Want some breakfast? Ash here is cooking,” Wyatt offered. I rolled my eyes subtly.
She shook her head, politely declining. “No, no, I’m okay. I just wanted to introduce myself since you both were here. I’m Mila. I guess your half-sister.” Her mouth twisted as if testing out the sound of that on her tongue.
She was a bold sixteen-year-old, with courage to approach two strangers in their family home to introduce herself at six in the morning. I respected that.
“I, uh, didn’t really have much family. My mom was an only child, and both her parents had passed away. So I feel kind of, like, displaced? I’m not sure if that’s the right word. And I never knew my dad—well, your dad. Our dad.”
She seemed frazzled, trying to piece together what was left of her life. She shook her head, as if she could physically get a better grasp on the conversation by doing so.
“My life just feels lost. I feel lost, and now I’m living in your home with a dad I never knew who I have mixed fucking feelings about, with a dead mom and two new brothers that I’m trying to explain myself to.”
A tear pebbled in the corner of her eye as she lifted her head and stared at the ceiling, willing her problems away. I sighed heavily. I could see it. I could see how lost she felt.
