I leaned back in my chair, rubbing my jaw, trying to figure out how much I could say without saying too much.
“It’s complex shit going on in my head right now, Bunny.”
“Talk to me, Marlon.” she pushed.
I pressed my eyes closed and grimaced. “I-I gotta tell you something that’s been on my chest for a minute but I don’t know if I should.”
Her body lifted closer to me with interest immediately. “Okay? Say it.”
I tried to look at her but ended up looking away. “I can’t.”
She let out a sharp breath, stepping off the desk.
“Look,” she said, standing in front of me. “This situation is complex enough as is, man. I can’t keep chasing behind a grown man for him to face his own feelings. It’s only room for one immature personality in this and I think that right is reserved for the twenty-something.”
God forbid a man has trouble processing shit he ain’t healed from in thirty years.
I scoffed. “Thanks.”
“Don’t take my bluntness for indifference,” she added quickly, her voice steady. “When I said I care, I meant it. But Ican’t add this to the list of other things I gotta worry about, so if you wanna talk, talk. If you wanna play games, play them. But just not with me.”
She turned to leave.
I moved before I thought about it, reaching out and catching her hand, stopping her.
“Bunny. Please.”
She stopped.
I stood then, closing the distance between us and bringing her hand up to my face as I talked. It felt so natural to do.
“Gimme time, okay?” I requested, quieter now. “I need to get my mind together before we talk and I can’t right now.”
She didn’t pull away.
Her hand shifted slightly, her palm opening more against my cheek.
It slowed everything down. My breathing. My thoughts. The tension that had been building all day. I could look into her eyes again. I could relax. I did relax as she stroked the fine hairs of my beard coming back in. I closed my eyes and savored it.
No noise and no Alice.
“Is that okay?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said after a second. “It’s just… I never thought I’d see the day you let me touch your face.”
Fuck.
I stepped back, letting her hand fall away, the contact breaking quicker than I wanted it to.
The room felt different after that with neither of us moving.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“It’s fine, Marlon.” She walked toward the door. Before she opened it, she looked back.“Hey, you can swing by my hotel room when you’re ready to talk, okay?”
I held her gaze for a second.
“Yeah, okay.” The door closed behind her and I stood there for a second, staring at it praying she wouldn’t come back and force me to finish what I started.
