So loud that it made strangers in the airport turn around and wonder if I really did kidnap her.
It gave me a headache.
I’ve dealt with spoiled brats before but only in bed, so this was a new level of hell.
She sat beside me in first class, arms crossed, sunglasses on, sniffling every five minutes just to make sure I remembered she was miserable.
I ignored her for the first half-hour. Then I heard a quiet little whimper.
That was it.
“Hey,” I said, snapping my fingers in her face, low enough for only her to hear. “Hey. Hey! Stop all that crying!”
She sniffed again, still not looking at me.
“That crying-to-get-your-way shit only works on your dad, aight?” I leaned closer, voice flat. “I already told you tears don’t move me. Knock it the fuck off.”
Her head snapped toward me, eyes wide behind those oversized sunglasses.
“You can’t talk to me like that,” she hissed.
“Or what?”
Her jaw dropped and I saw the expression on her face turn when she realized the gravity of her situation.
“Exactly,” I said, settling back against my seat. “I don’t want to see another tear drop for the rest of the flight.”
She scoffed, grabbed a napkin, and dabbed at her eyes. “You’re unbelievable.”
“Likewise,” I scoffed. “You and these cry baby ass tears. When I met you I didn’t expect to be dealing with this shit. I know you were a little brattish with a slick mouth but this? I’m disappointed, Rabbit. Not gonna lie.”
“Yeah, you try sitting across from your father while he calls you a disappointment.”
“Been there, done that. It’s not a reason to lose your cool like that. Tighten up.”
She took that in. I saw her shoulders relax and her posture straighten.
“Okay.”
For a few minutes, blessed silence. I almost believed it was over.
Until she tried to order champagne.
When the flight attendant told her there wasn’t any available, she gasped like she’d been told her little rat died.
“Oh my God,” she exclaimed loud enough for everyone in a ten-foot radius to hear. “No champagne? What kind of flight is this?”
I rubbed a hand over my face and muttered under my breath, “ It’s just a goddamn drink, Rabbit. Let it go.”
“You think this is just about a drink? We shouldn’t even be on this flight! We couldn’t just charter a PJ?”
“Didn’t I tell you not to question me?” I waved the flight attendant away to spare her. In truth, I could’ve. But I don’t exactly trust myself to be alone with this woman just yet, so instead, I say; “And why would I charter a flight for the two of us? Do you know how bad for the environment that is?”
“Tuh, and since when do you care about the planet?”
“Since I live on the motherfucka. And since my business depends on how good the atmosphere is.”
“Spare me. One plane ain’t gonna drive you out of business,” she said, folding her arms again. “This is just cruel and unusual punishment.”
