How quickly Fell had acted.How he’d known exactly… “What would I ever do without you?”I breathed.
Fell’s brows rose.All day I’d been so busy, so annoyed, so frustrated.I hadn’t looked at his face the way I was looking at it now.
“You are tired,” I said.But it was more than that.He was stretched.Torn.He’d spent the last several days trying to appease me, trying to appease Arik, trying to appease Halvar.Arguing with the people he loved.I remembered suddenly the reading I’d done for him at King Arik’s behest.Will he ever have rest?Or just not now, not today?How badly he’d tried to change Arik’s mind.How badly he wanted me to be as safe as possible: to train with shield and axe, to mark my skin with a Norsern tattoo—even just something small and hidden.The ink was thought to be protective.
“I am sorry I have been so terrible,” I started.“But you are right.I should take a protective mark.”
Fell’s blue eyes lit as he watched me for a moment more.Eager.Wanting to be sure I was serious.
“Before we leave,” I said.I didn’t believe the marks were magical or protective, but Fell believed it.
He nodded.“I will fetch the tools.”
No one had told me how terrible it would feel to have my skin marked.It was like a sharp blade scraping against my skin again and again.Until it was raw.Until it was so irritated, I wanted to groan.I’d chosen the mark of Valla, the goddess of the moon and good luck, daughter of Hyrold.And I’d chosen to hide it on my ribcage on my left side.Small.Just beneath the breast.
While I’d chosen small, it felt very large as Fell stabbed me repeatedly with the stupid little needle that I hated with a foolish fury.Though in moments where I softened to the irritation of it, I got to watch Fell’s face as he worked.So concentrated.So beautiful.My left arm was numb from holding it above my head while he worked, but he was so lovely to look at, it almost didn’t matter.
“It is done, but swollen, so you will not be able to see it as it will be for…”
I lowered my arm slowly, hesitating as I brought it closer and closer to what felt like a raw wound on my ribcage.
“I have one more thought,” Fell said, grinning almost sheepishly.
“What?”
He came to sit behind me, his chest against my back.His arms around me as he pulled me into his lap.He slid his right forearm against my left forearm, both of our palms facing up, our wrists facing up, our smallest fingers touching.
He sketched with charcoal on his wrist first, but very quickly, he was sketching on my wrist as well.A circular mark no bigger than a coin, half on his wrist, half on mine.
“It is the mark of Hanya,” he said softly when he’d finished.
From learning stone casting, I recognized a part of the mark.The word Beloved was hidden inside it.
“She is the goddess of all that is beautiful.She is the feeling of love.”
I nodded slowly, looking at our arms as I pulled mine away a little, leaving a half circle on my wrist and a half circle on his.Only when our arms were together was the image complete.
“I love it,” I said.
“Enough for ink?”
I giggled.“Yes.”
“It does not wash off.”
“I know.”
He kissed my shoulder.And even after both of our wrists were washed and marked and the stinging had passed, we stayed wrapped around each other.
I could feel Fell’s heart beating in his chest as we drifted to sleep.
Forty-Five
Iwas half asleep, feeding Halvar with my eyes nearly closed.It was closer to morning than night—I could feel that much, but I hoped it wasn’t too close.I wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep?—
“What is this?”I shouted, overcome with a sour, terrified rage despite how depleting the last few days had been.
Moonlight from the open window allowed me to see—just barely—that Halvar’s tiny hand was blue.The whole palm was blue.
