“We will need a helper for our next feat!”Egil’s daughter exclaimed.
“A young wombed being, about this tall…” one of Egil’s sons held up his hand to show the height they wanted.“Ideally, asotenyou would not be too heartbroken to lose if this all goes terribly.”
Before I could shout “No!”Sigyn and Daal had pushed me onto the platform.My gaze shot to Fell’s, full of nervous worry, but he was smiling and that made me less afraid.
Egil’s son took my hand and winked at me in a friendly, trusting way, letting me know all would be well.Each other child of Egil shook one of my hands as they moved me to the centre of the platform and forced my back straight.
They began a contest of sorts.Each of them pulling things out of the air and offering them to me, trying to create something better than what had last been revealed.A coin.A flower.A rabbit.Many coins.Many flowers.Many rabbits.The creatures fled the performance, hopping off in every direction.
Finally, the tallest man—the one who spoke the least—showed me his empty palms.He closed his hands and opened them, and within was a tiny bird.He set the bird in my hands, but as he did, he slowed.Our eyes met, and he grew strange and still.It seemed like the show stopped for a moment.The breeze rustled his hair, his eyes bright and blue and so very clear…
Egil’s other children found more flowers in my sleeves and pockets and in my hair and while the crowd seemed happy to murmur in surprise, I became focused.A goldkeeper’s skills were not so different from the performer’s skills.I felt, with enough thought and planning, I might be able to put on a show as they were.But then half a dozen birds came from nowhere and I couldn’t understand how the birds had kept still and silent while hidden.
Egil’s children had me bow with them, and when I left the platform, the man who had looked at me strangely put a coin in my hand.
The end of the show was the most spectacular.The animal within the cart was a bear in colourful clothing.It stood on its hind legs and moved forward and backward when they told it to as Hald shrieked with fervour.“I told you, Mama!I told you there was a bear!”
At the end, they said people could come and pet the bear, though they made jokes about losing fingers.I had no desire to touch it, but Fell and the others weren’t so cautious.
“The way some humans love bears,” Egil’s daughter said as our group shuffled closer to the creature.“This bear loves humans.Look.”
The bear did indeed seem happy with the affection of drunken Norsern and giddy children.It even nuzzled its nose into Fell’s palm.Again, my fear left me, and I brought my fingers hesitantly to the bear’s fur.It was far more gentle than I could have imagined, and its tawny fur was soft—so soft I figured Egil’s children had oiled it.
Egil’s children held out hats, and many placed jewellery or coin inside.When the hat passed me, I had nothing to give besides the coin they had given me.I went to drop it in, but the tallest brother shook his head.“That is for you to keep.Your fee for holding our secrets.”
It was the first coin I made all on my own, and even if I’d done nothing but stand where I was told, I felt a little proud of it.
We drank more—which shouldn’t surprise you, but what might is that we ran into Egil’s children at an outdoor hearth where twin women were singing the most beautiful, fluttering song.
“Ah!Skael!”said Egil’s daughter when she saw me.“Come, share a drink.”She waved us over as her brothers made space for us to sit on the logs that rested neatly around the fire.“All of you, come!”
Egil’s tallest son locked eyes with me, and I felt… on guard, but in a pleasant way.His attention didn’t feel unkind, but it was serious.Potent.
I sat next to Egil’s daughter, as my party took up the open space they’d made for us.“Thank you for your help today,” she said, pouring some of her drink into the empty flagon I still held in my hand.
“No mind,” I said, which was a poor translation of what someone might say on the Isle when they wanted to let someone know they were unbothered.“Or, maybe in Norsern you would say…”
Egil’s daughter smiled.“I understand.We travel a lot so I am used to using a few words to make many meanings.Your accent is Islish?”
I nodded, sipping the drink she’d given me, a red ale of some kind—it tasted earthy but still fresh.
“You know of Egil?”said Egil’s daughter as Daal sat next to her and Hald began to ask incessant questions to one of Egil’s sons about where they’d found the bear, and how they made friends with it, and where their bear was now.
“A little,” I said.
“Egil is the god of tricks and illusions and flights of the mind,” Egil’s daughter said.“No one prays to him, it is too dangerous.But me and my brothers… we have found peace with him.What is our kind of performance called in your language?”
My first tongue felt very far away from me, and I needed to think for a moment.
“We might saycircus,” Dania answered for me.
“Does this word have any second meanings?”Egil’s daughter asked, sipping her ale and blinking with interest.
“No—” Dania continued talking, but I was entirely lost in my own mind.
A circus.
By accident, I’d seen something I’d always wanted to.A wave of realizations washed over me.I was living in a big town, with lots of people and girls my own age.There were dances every night.And now, there was a circus.Everything I wanted.Only it was better than I’d hoped because I was able to move around without the weight of metal.I was able to let my thoughts out of my head.I could wander wherever I wanted…
