His words were perfect.Unreal almost.I was the one who pulled us from the romantic daze.“But you will keep this secret, yes?”
“I choke on it,” he said.And then, “I also will tell no one you are Norsen now.You may tell people in the time that you wish.If a fight is to come, you can call for me.”
I almost cried again.Instead, I reverted back to my reserved nature and stood up and dressed quickly.
“I would like to do this again, sometime very soon,” I said.
He smiled, and I smiled back at him.And so began a beautiful, fervent time in my life that revolved entirely around Fell.Finding pieces of the day we could both slip away and entangle ourselves.The excruciating challenge of not looking at him when we were in one of the halls together.Trying not to laugh whenever he laughed, whenever he made a face of any kind.Gushing alone in my chamber because Fell had left a flower there for me.Thinking of him.Dreaming of him.Kissing him like there were no days left in either of our lives.
Was I in love with him?
Of course.
Did I have any awareness of it?
None at all.
Twenty-Seven
Weeks passed.Beautiful, secret weeks of smiles and songs and my heart thrumming in my chest as I felt so happy I could cry.But then everything changed as everything is prone to doing…
It was early morning, but rather than meeting in King Arik’s study as usual, we were in one of the smaller halls.The floor was entirely covered by maps, which the king was in the process of organizing.He had several Norsern with him, moving parchment and linen around on the floor, comparing the smallest differences in the drawings, trying to discern which maps were the most correct.He was having a grand map commissioned and wanted it as accurate as possible.
I was sitting on the floor in the corner, practicing with the stones as the king had requested.He had another set of questions for me but wanted me more practised before asking them.After that reading, he said we could discuss my return home.How I dreaded that conversation.
Unseen!was the song the stones were singing.Something unseen!
Yes, but what?I thought back at them in a surly tone.
They offered nothing beyond the energy of teasing.
Unseen!Surprise!Unseen!
King Arik must have sensed my confusion because he walked closer to me and looked at the cluster of stones on the floor.“I can fetch Jorn if you would like, Gentlewoman.”
“I want to figure it out, but…” I sighed.“Surprise.An unseen surprise.That is all they say.”
The king crouched, his eyes still on the stones.“Do they saywhois not seeing?Who will be surprised?”
Tehehe.Surrrrprise!
I huffed.“No.That too is a surprise.”
“Hmm.”King Arik went back to his organizing for several moments, but he quickly stopped attending to the mess of maps and stood looking out the window with his arms crossed.
Four times this happened: the king paused for a long, quiet ponder and then returned to his maps.
Finally, he frowned, stood up straight, looked directly at me and said, “Gentlewoman, have you been ill?”
“No.”But then I thought more about his question.I hadn’t beennotill.Fell left me in all sorts of states just by being near me or far from me.Truly, no distance left me free from the tizzy of him existing and me knowing about it.
The longer I held the king’s gaze, the colder my blood went in my veins.His expression was too enlivened.His eyes glowed like coals.
“When was the last time you went to the bleeding hall?”
My breath stopped.I hadn’t gone in recent memory.Not since Fell…
I felt my eyes widen, my mouth open slightly.
