“That’s normal. You can’t really stop it, princess. You just have to ride it out.”
“Oh.” Cass processed this. “That seems really inconvenient.”
Riot’s mouth twitched. “It is.”
A cramping sensation made Cass wince, pressing a hand to his stomach as it intensified; he gasped, doubling over. “It’s very…very inconvenient.”
“Cass—”
Tears welled in his eyes before he could stop them and his legs shook with the effort of keeping himself upright, but then Riot was there, warm and solid, catching him before his knees gave. “I’ve got you. Come here.”
Strong arms guided him to the bed. Somehow Cass ended up settled against Riot’s chest, tucked between his legs with his back pressed to all that warmth. Riot’s heartbeat was steady against his spine as another wave of pain rolled through him.
“Breathe, princess.” Riot’s hand was between them, already rubbing firm circles on Cass’s lower back, pressing into the muscles. “That’s it. Just breathe through it.”
Cass tried. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. The cramping eased, then the shivers hit, his whole body shaking despite the heat under his skin. Riot pulled the blanket up around his shoulders without a word. His other hand never stopped rubbing. He kept murmuring soft, gentle things even as Cass’s ears struggled to translate them into coherent words over the noise in his body.
The shivers faded. Then a flush of burning heat replaced them, and Cass kicked the blanket off desperately.
Riot started waving his hand near Cass’s face to create a breeze.
How does he always know?
At home, if he was sick, he meditated more. Fasted more. The healers had their remedies and rituals and dietary protocols, andnone of them involved another person just... adjusting to his needs. Moment by moment. Blanket on, blanket off. Pressure here, gentle there. Like paying attention to someone’s comfort was just something someone did without having to be told.
“Honey was really good at taking care of people,” Cass said. The words tumbled out the way they sometimes did—connected to what he was feeling, even if the connection wasn’t obvious. Riot’s hand kept stroking his hair. He didn’t ask why Cass was talking about this. He just listened.
“When she did her mission to the same sector of the Neutral Zone I got sent to, she recruited someone on her second day. Because she’s smart and she actually understands what people need to hear—” Cass bit off a whimper as his insides knotted up again. “She made a friend there too. A, um, perfume vendor at one of the market stalls. Honey said she was kind. She…she gave her samples.”
“That sounds nice,” Riot said.
“Honey snuck some samples back in her hair and kept them hidden in her room. She said they reminded her that there were nice people outside of Elysian.” Cass blinked. There were tears on his cheeks again—they kept doing that, leaking out without warning. “She used to take care of me when I was sad. She wasn’t supposed to. Individual comfort sessions were supposed to go through your assigned guide, but she always knew when I was sad before I did.”
“That sounds lonely.”
“I didn’t know it was lonely until I left.” The words surprised him. He turned them over in his head, trying to figure out where they’d come from. They sat in silence for a while, and Riot’s hands kept moving—kneading circles into his back when Cass tensed and stroking when he relaxed.
“Can I ask you something?” Cass said.
“Always, princess.”
“Your name. Riot.” He traced a pattern on Riot’s arm with one finger, feeling the warmth of his skin. “It doesn’t sound like a real name.”
Riot’s breathing changed, but his hand didn’t stop. “It’s not. It’s a code name. All of us Endeavor survivors use them.”
“The program that made you scary.” Cass remembered. “Lilac said it changed both of you.”
“It did.”
Cass turned in Riot’s arms and pressed his face against Riot’s throat. Strawberries and cream. The scent that meantsafeeven when his body was also sayingbigandscaryandwant. “What was your real name?” he asked quietly. “Before Riot?”
The silence stretched long enough that Cass almost saidyou don’t have to—
“Brennan.” The name came out rough, like it cost him something to say. “Brennan Loudon.”
Brennan.It felt softer than Riot. Like the person who rubbed circles on Cass’s back and remembered to wave a breeze near his face.
“Why don’t you use it?”
