“Things like that don’t happen to me. I’m more of the love-them-and-leave-them type, only it’s me that gets left.” Ava bit her lip, focusing on the pain.
Her grandma put a hand over hers. “Sweetie. I’m sorry about your ex-fiancé, but he was a terrible person. It had nothing to do with you.”
“And Mom and Dad?”
Her grandma sighed. “I should have told you this a long time ago. I think your mom is bipolar. She never had a formal diagnosis, but it fits with everything about her.” Her grandma looked away for a moment, then met her eyes again. “That’s partly why she said those terrible things about never wanting you. She loved you so much that she didn’t want to screw up your life.”
“She rejected me because she loved me? That makes no sense.” But in a way, it jived with what she knew about her mother. “Okay, fine. I guess I can see that. But Dad?”
Her grandma waved away the question. “Oh, he was always going to follow your mother. He can be quite immature, which is why he won’t stand up to her. But he truly loves her, so I forgive him for that.”
“They always let me down,” Ava said.
“I’ve got news for you, kiddo. People do that.” Her grandma patted her hand. “But if you find the right ones, they will always let you know that they regret it.”
“You’ve never let me down.” An idea blossomed in Ava’s heart. Her grandma had always been there for her. “Maybe you did in little ways, but never in the ways it counted.” Her grandma had been at every one of her school events, she’d made a scrapbook of every article Ava had ever written. She’d shown up. Her grandma had always chosen her, wanted her. Even if her parents were terrible, her grandma made up for it. Sure, she had been lonely, but she’d never had a reason to doubt her grandma’s love.
Emily, too, had been there for her. Maybe Ava needed to work on that trusting thing.
“This is probably terrible timing, but I found a place in Arizona,” Grandma said. “I’m hoping to move there at the end of summer. I want you to know it has nothing to do with you. But now you can go anywhere.”
Gulp. Her heart squeezed. Knowing this day was coming didn’t make it any easier. “I know you love me. I’ll be sorry to live so far away, though.” She took a deep breath to ease the ache in her chest.
“Maybe you can come visit me on one of your newspaper trips.”
Ava fidgeted with her fork. “That dream has died. Judson said my stuff wasn’t good enough to justify sending me on the road.” Her first drafts had been pretty scattered. She’d let everything with Zach distract her. “I buckled down and fully rewrote my articles, but I think I already blew my chance. He hasn’t said anything about the revisions.”
“I’m so sorry, honey.” Her grandma patted her hand again. “I know how much that meant to you.”
Ava shrugged. “I didn’t get the house I wanted, so staying here in Chicago makes sense, I guess. No need to work remote when I live just a few blocks from my office.” But all the truth she tried telling herself didn’t erase the bitter taste of loss. She forked another tortellini but then pushed the dish away. “Anyway. I’ll be fine. I’ll make a new plan.”
“Now that we have that settled, tell me more about this young man you’re falling in love with.” Her grandma popped a tortellini in her mouth.
“I’m not falling in love.” Was she?
“Nonsense. I can see it all over your face. You love this boy.” Grandma pointed her fork at Ava.
Ava’s face felt hot. Fair skin struck again. “He’s not a boy. He’s a chef. He makes me feel more confident. He’s funny, and he’s kind. Usually.”
“And why are you so sad about it?”
“We left things in a really bad place between us. I don’t really even know what we were fighting about. He accused me of some outlandish things, and I fought back.”
Grandma folded her hands on the table. “I remember having some doozies with your grandfather. Usually, they weren’t about what we were fighting about, if you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, there probably was more to it, but our relationship was so new it didn’t seem worth it to pursue.” Her stomach turned over. That decision held so much regret. But she didn’t know how to reverse course.
“Love is always worth it.”
“Maybe I wanted to leave him before he left me.” As the words left her mouth, they rang true in her heart. She didn’t want to be rejected by Zach, so she hadn’t even given them a chance to figure it out. She’d just turned tail and run. “He was right too. I put my articles before him—before our team. I shouldhave apologized for that. I just got so defensive.” She’d betrayed him, however unintentionally, but the result was the same.
She sat up straighter. “You’re right, though. I think I could love him. He’s passionate and good to his family. He believes in me.”
“Sounds like you two might have something.” Her grandma leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. “Maybe you should give him a chance to stay.”
“I should at least make time to hear him out.” His last words—Let me explain. Please.—rang through her. She owed him that much. She owed herself too.
Because one thing this conversation was making clear: She was falling in love with Zach, and she wanted to give him another chance. She wanted to show up for him in the way that she’d always wanted others to show up for her.
