“I told myself I wouldn’t fall for you again. I tried to stay detached. Keep my distance. But it was impossible.Youmade it impossible.” His hands flex at his sides. “The lies I told? They were for me, not you. I lied to myself, to survive. To pretend I could live without you.”
His chest rises and falls, breathing ragged, eyes wild, like he’s begging me to understand.
“You say you understand what happened that day but you don’t. Not really.” His voice breaks. “It was a flashbang. A detonation. I may not have dealt with it, but I know where it came from. And you don’t know the full story. Not even close.”
He goes still. Voice dead and frayed. It’s fascinating to watch him go back to his soulless shell in less than a second.
“You think you know what made me like this? Turned me into the monster you hate? You don’t,” he murmurs.
“Prison, Ghost,” I say, voice flat. “I realize it’s prison. That’s still not an excuse.”
He closes his eyes. For a moment, he looks lost.
“No, it’s not,” he agrees. “But that word doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
Questions I’m not ready to hear the answers to start echoing in my mind. The same ones I’ve been pushing aside, because they come with too much pain and fear.
I can’t do this. Not another second of this trainwreck of a conversation. My voice cracks before I can stop it.
“It doesn’t matter. Not anymore.” The declaration is final, a coffin lid slamming shut.
“You need to move on, Ghost. I know you’ve been following me around. You’re stuck on the idea of us, but we’re not happening. Not ever again.”
I drag in a breath and drop my head, because I can’t bear to look at him anymore.
“We had our chance,” I whisper, “and it didn’t work out.” I let out a bitter laugh that barely makes it past my lips. “Truth is, we were always doomed to fail. And the third time around wouldn’t be any different. Even in my books, no one gets three chances — because not even fiction can stretch that far. Make that believable.”
I take a step forward, slow, my body fighting against my brain. I pull the pen from my back pocket. I can feel the tears now. Steady, relentless rivers falling down my face. My hands shake, but I don’t falter.
I hold the pen out to him and finally lift my gaze. Look him in the eyes.
And he’s not there. Not really. Just the shadow of the man I loved. The man who once lit up my world, now burned to nothing.
“Sign the papers,” I whisper, voice thin. Shredded. “Please. Set me free. It’s the only thing you can still do right by me. The only good thing you’ve got left to give.”
He hesitates. Just for a breath. Then takes the pen from my hand, not saying a single word.
And when he signs, line after fucking line, I don’t feel the relief I thought I would. Just sorrow. A flood of it. Drowning the last remaining pieces of my heart that I was still trying to protect.
I clutch the papers to my chest and whisper a broken“thank you”before I turn around and leave him there. Alone. And hollow.
24. Ghostie
Adora
Islam the door to the room Bones gave me with every last ounce of strength I have. A dam breaks inside and sobs tear out of me, ripping through my chest like claws. I can barely breathe.
Something’s wrong with me. So, so wrong.
Why does this hurt so much? It’s what I wanted. It’s what I needed. And yet, cutting the last thread connecting us feels like slicing into my own flesh.
Fuck you, Ghost. Fuck you for doing this to us. For destroying everything good that could’ve been. For having such a cruel, twisted mind.
I throw the papers on the side table with shaking hands, fists clenched so tight my knuckles ache. I want to scream, but I can’t even get the sound out. Only these jagged, choking sobs that won’t stop. My whole body trembles, shivering like I’m standing naked in the middle of a winter storm.
I thought I was ready. I thought I’d feel free. Instead, I can’t stop picturing his face. Those sad, dead fucking eyes.
The darkness is here again. Creeping in, oily and thick. Whispering filth straight into my brain.You’re worthless.Unlovable. A fucking joke.I know what happens if I let it stay. It’ll settle in, and infect everything. Paralyze me.
