I kill the engine and lean back in my seat. She doesn’t speak, but I can feel her eyes on me.
“Every time I see that tracker dot move on my screen, it means you’re alive,” I whisper, turning my head toward her. “It means your heart is still beating. It was the only thing I had when I couldn’t be near you.”
Seconds of silence stretch while she looks at me, lips trembling with unsaid words, her chest rising and falling too fast.
“Fuck,” she finally exhales, dragging a hand through her hair. “That… that honestly sounds fucked up. Toxic as shit.” She squares her shoulders, fixing me with a deadly glare. “It’s still not okay. I had a right to know.”
A pause. That glare goes up a thousand levels. “Where did you put it?’
I press my lips together. I don’t want to say it.I really don’t fucking want to say it. Every instinct screams that it needs tostay exactly where it is. Until the day it dies, and then it’s taken out. And replaced with a new one.
“Ghost,” she growls, warning in her tone.
Fuck. I have to give her what she wants. Even if I don’t want to. It’s her right to know.
“It’s in your left ass cheek,” I mutter, voice so low I barely hear myself.
I blink. She blinks. Once. Twice. Again.
“You put it in my ass?” she finally yells, arms flailing in outrage.
“Yeah, well, I initially wanted to put it in one of your tits,” I shoot back, voice hot, unreasonably bothered by her judgement. “But the chances of you noticing the needle mark were too damn high.”
I’ve never seen her eyes get so wide. They look like they’re about to pop out of her skull and jump right at me.
“I suddenly don’t feel so bad about tasing you anymore.” The hissed words are matched by an angry slap against the dashboard.
“You felt bad about tasing me?” I try — and successfully fail — to hide my grin.
Her glare melts.
“I don’t want to be that kind of person.” she says quietly, sinking into her seat. “The kind that hurts people like that. I’ve experienced enough of it to last a lifetime. I don’t want to spread it around.”
“You have nothing to feel bad about,” I murmur, watching her bite her lip. “I’ve put you through enough shit. It’s okay to be angry.”
I pause, frowning. “Honestly, it’s a miracle you didn’t explode sooner. I know I’ve been overbearing since you came to the clubhouse.”
“Well, at least you’re self-aware,” the snark comes out like a bite, paired with a stare that could flay the skin off my bones. But then her face softens. Her eyes start darting around, unfocused. “I’ve just been dealing with too much anxiety lately,” she whispers. “I guess it made me lose control.”
“Is it about the snake cult?” The thought makes my brow furrow. “You don’t have to worry about them. It’ll be over soon.”
“No,” she sighs, and I swear she’s never looked this tired. Her eyes narrow unexpectedly, shoulders squaring up like she’s ready for a fight. “It’s because I have questions.”
She runs a hand through her hair, breath trembling. “I never thought I’d get here, but… there are things I want to know. About the past. About everything that happened. I’m just fucking afraid of opening that can of worms.”
My heart starts pounding so fast it might crack a rib. This woman is the only person who’s ever managed to make me feel fear. Real fear.
I wanted this. Hoped for this. That she would ask. That she’d want to know. But now that the moment’s here, it feels like I’m breathing in sludge.
Will it change anything? Will it make her understand? Maybe. Or maybe not, and that’s where my last hope will die.
“You said it didn’t matter,” I manage to get the words out in a dry whisper. “That you didn’t want to know.”
“Yeah, well, I lied,” she mutters, crossing her arms. “I fucking lied, okay? Back then, all I wanted was for you to sign the papers and not drag it out. But I knew I’d need to know someday. I just wanted it to be onmyterms. Not yours.”
“Okay.” I nod slowly, trying to swallow the knot in my throat. “Ask your questions, adorable. I’ll answer every one of them.”
She side-eyes me, looking distrustful as fuck.
