Then she sobers. “What did he actually want?”
I inhale the biggest breath of my life and let it out with a whoosh. “To protect his brother. He’s afraid I might start shooting real guns instead of tasers.”
I glance down at Gary, scratching behind his ears. He purrs louder. I wish I were a cat.
“A little late for his intervention, though,” I add, looking back at Ria. “Tonight I realized that both Ghost and I have been too focused on each other, and we forgot about the real enemies in our lives.”
Suddenly, it’s too hard to swallow. “We fought and hurt each other while those people lived without a care in the world.”
I don’t even realize there are tears on my cheeks until Ria leans forward and wipes them away with her thumbs.
“Their time will come,” she whispers gently.
Her eyes search mine for a few seconds, worry shining through. Then she leans back with a soft smile and pulls her phone from the pocket of her frilly skirt.
“Let’s listen to some music,” she says casually, already tapping the screen.
The sound of Ghost’s violin fills the room and my soul at the same time. I close my eyes and let myself sink into the music for a few minutes. Let it pull me out of the shadows.
“I can’t believe he recorded this track,” I whisper, eyes still closed.
“Why wouldn’t he?” Ria whispers back, sounding almost as entranced as I am.
I sift through old memories and look at her, a sad smile tugging at my lips.
“He never wanted to record any of his music. Said he didn’t like how it sounded. I tried to convince him years ago to record this one for me, but he refused. Said he’d always be there to play it for me. That I didn’t need a recording.”
I swallow hard as the tears threaten again.
“Little did he know.”
Oh, fuck this fucking sadness. I’m so tired of it. I want it gone. So I clear my throat. Sit up straight. My smile turns wicked.
“I used to make my mother’s tea with toilet water,” I announce proudly.
Ria blinks rapidly. Stunned beyond comprehension. She lifts a hand slowly, mouth agape.
“I—I need a moment to process the whiplash.”
“I did the same with my ex-husband’s coffee,” I continue. “He got toilet water too.”
A few seconds pass. I keep my wicked smile. Ria keeps staring at me.
Then, as if on cue, we both burst out laughing. Gary protests when my whole body starts shaking. I let him go, gasping for air between wheezes.
“Oh my god, you’re like the sneakiest of the Avengers,” Ria manages once we finally settle. “Please tell me Ghostberry got toilet water too.”
“Nu-uh.” I shake my head. “I only had his beer to work with. But don’t worry,” I add with a chuckle, standing abruptly, “he still got something.”
“Ria, this night was a fucking nightmare. I need a better ending to this clusterfuck,” I declare, my tone that of a general going to war. “Let’s have a party!”
She jumps from her seat with a wide grin, ready to join my war.
Less than an hour later, we’re absurdly wasted, cosplaying Coyote Ugly on top of the bar.
The clubhouse is almost empty. My movements are unsteady, completely off balance, but my mind is oddly calm. Ghost is at the bar too, eyes locked on me like lasers. I can feel the heat of his gaze on my skin, even like this.
There is no hope for us as a couple. Truth is, there never was. But right now, I know — with a certainty I’ve never felt before — that if I fall from this bar top, he’ll catch me.
