She squints, lips twisting. “I’m not so sure. Bones’ dick seems to agree with my lady garden. It’s like those two are conspiring against us.” She sighs. “Except I’m the only one who ends up exhausted. Somehow, he’s fresh as a daisy.”
She inhales. Exhales slowly. “Anyway. Enough about my problems.” She points at me, circling her finger in the air. “You look off. What’s wrong?”
My brain scrambles for anything other than ‘oh, nothing much, I’ve just been obsessing over the tracker planted in my ex-husband’s ass’.
I start fiddling with the papers on the counter. “Uh… nothing,” I mumble. “I was just thinking about rearranging some shelves around here. And I was also checking the bookstore numbers. They’re okay-ish, but it might be good to branch out. Maybe take the business online too.”
It’s not a lie. Just not the whole truth. I was supposed to focus on that. Instead, my mind is split in two — half here, half across the street.
“That’s a great idea,” Temperance says, suddenly looking far less tired. “I know people who can help with the online store setup. And marketing. I can also help with some kickass creatives.” She claps her hands together. “This is awesome. Just up my alley.”
Five minutes later, the bookstore is closed for lunch, and I’m sitting in my back office with Temperance, enjoying a huge steak sandwich.
“You weren’t just thinking about numbers, were you?” she says calmly. “You were also thinking about Ghost.”
That statement, delivered in her usual no-bullshit tone, out of nowhere, makes me choke on a piece of steak. She slides a glass of water toward me when my coughing fit won’t stop, waiting patiently.
“How the hell did you know?” I manage to rasp a minute later. “Am I really that fucking easy to read?”
She gives me a look like I just asked the stupidest question imaginable.
“You’re only easy to read when you think about him. You get the sappy look, remember? And also, don’t forget — I was in your place, more or less, not that long ago,” she says softly.
I deflate, letting out a long groan. “I just—it’s nothing serious. It’s just anxiety. Knowing he’s doing dangerous shit right now. Going after the cartel.”
She frowns, clearly unconvinced. “He’s always doing dangerous shit. He’s a career criminal.”
Why did she have to call me out like that?
She sighs, then pins me in place with a hard look. I break in seconds.
“Fine,” I grumble. “I can’t stop thinking about him, okay? But it doesn’t matter, because I made a decision. A final one. We don’t belong together. It’s too messy. Too much past pain. And who knows how much more future pain.”
She nods thoughtfully. “I agree.”
“You do?” I blurt, stunned. “But—but you took Bones back!”Why am I fighting her on this?
“I did,” she says evenly. “The difference, though? I made sure I was absolutely certain of what I wanted before taking that final step.”
She exhales. “We’re fucked up people, Adora. Not just the men. Us, too. Relationships like ours are even harder work than normal ones. If you’re not sure of what you want, you won’t have the strength to fight when it matters. And then everything breaks at the drop of a hat.”
She points at me gently. “And you? You’re not sure. Even if you say you’ve made a decision. So it’s better to protect yourself right now.”
Damn it. Damn it to hell.
The dot is back. Same place. Just a few feet away. If I wanted to, I could see that dot with my own eyes in less than thirty seconds.
But I don’t want to. No, I don’t. Because I made a decision. And I’m sure of it, no matter what kind of woo-woo nonsense Temperance was talking about yesterday.
…
“Fuck my life,” I mumble ten minutes later, crossing the street and heading straight for the narrow alley tucked between the tiny hardware store and Ria’s shop.
I played myself with this tracker shit. Set a nice little trap and walked my booty straight into it.
At the sight of Ghost leaning against his bike — tattooed arms crossed, sunglasses on, hair messy, beard even messier — my heart stumbles. Squeezes. Then expands. I’d think I was having a heart attack if some of those panty palpitations Temperance mentioned weren’t also throwing a party in my pants.
I truly am a fucked up woman.
