“Pa!” I grumbled under my breath and sighed. “I’m fine. I just....” The thing was that I told my pa everything. He never judged me, but he was also dating Barber. He couldn’t lie to his boyfriend.
Pa stepped into the room and closed the door. He came over to sit on the bed beside me, arm wrapping around my shoulder. “Tell me what’s wrong. We’ll sort it out together.”
Sex was different, though. He was still my dad. I didn’t want to talk to him about my sex life. No one wanted to know who their kid was fucking, or in this case, getting blowjobs from. Right?
I dropped my shoulders forward and mumbled.
“What?” Pa leaned closer. “I didn’t hear you.”
I sighed loudly. “I did a bad thing and feel terrible about it. Oli,Barber’sOli, gave me a blowjob and I ran. Fucking split as soon as he was done.” I frowned before spewing out the rest in a rush. “I was done? Fuck, I don’t even know if he got off. What if he didn’t get off? I’m a terrible person.” I threw myself back on the bed, arms spread across the mattress. The plain white ceiling glared down at me, judging. Definitely judging. I was a monster, and poor, sweet Oli was caught in a honey trap I hadn’t realized I’d set.
“You’re spiraling.” Pa fell onto the bed, his head resting on my arm. He smiled, and warmth spread through me, a reminder that this was the man who’d raised and protected me. It was because of him that I wasn’t a horrible human being. He’d given me all the love I’d needed as a teenager and taught me how to be a good man. “Let’s break this down. So, Oli gave you a blowjob? How did it happen?”
I exhaled heavily and told him the story. From the sexy pinup artwork to me stripping for him to Oli asking to blow me.
“Mm-hmm.” Pa grinned, amusement flickering across his face. “Sounds like Oli instigated it to me. He wanted it, too.”
“That’s not the point, Pa. I let him blow me and I ran out on him.”
Pa winced. “Yeah, not the best move, but you’re a good kid, KC. I raised a kind, intelligent young man. And you know what you should do?”
I resisted the urge to groan again. Maybe I could hide my face in my pillows and never leave my bedroom. Ever. I’d grow old under my blankets, and no one, especially not Oli, would ever see my face. Or hell, Oli would probably forget about what happened in a few years, right? I could just hide until then.
Pa poked me in the ribs as though he could read my thoughts, and I grunted. “Text him, KC.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “Do you like him?”
“I don’t know?” My voice wobbled in uncertainty. “I’ve tried not to think about him that way. He’s hot, but he’s like Barber’s son. It just seemed like it would lead to problems.”
Pa laughed. “Well, I can tell you he’s definitely thought about youthat way.”
“What?” I yanked my arm from under him and sat up, frowning at him. The panic returned, a flood of pressure pushing down on my chest and leaving my lungs heaving for air. “What do you mean?”
Pa sat up and tilted his head, studying me. “You didn’t know? The boy looks at you like you’re ice cubes in the desert.”
“He’s not a boy. He’s the same age as me and we’re adults,” I retorted before my brain could catch up. “He doesn’t like me.... Does he?”
Pa gave me a pointed stare. “Do I lie to you?”
All at once, a couple of things made more sense. The way Barber talked up Oli. How he made comments about Oli beinggood boyfriend material. I’d laughed about it previously, thinking what a good guy he was, but I hadn’t realized Barber was trying to push me in Oli’s direction.
Fuck.
“I can’t.” The words came out strangled, a weird scratchy tone that scraped up my throat. I blanched, then shoved to my feet, pacing my room. “I can’t. I have a date tomorrow.”
Pa’s spine straightened. “Date? With who? You never told me.”
Of course I hadn’t because Pa always got overprotective. Knowing him, the moment I told him who it was, he would start investigating Ren. Following him. Getting as much info as he could to assess the level of danger Ren was to me. He alwaystook things too far, especially since my teenage heartbreak. My high schoolsweetheartwho’d been my first, then pushed me away because he was ashamed about being gay.
“It doesn’t matter.” I stared right back at him. “You don’t need to get all Papa Bear on me.”
“Who is he?” Pa’s voice lowered to a dangerous pitch as he stood.
“No, I’m not telling you. Stop it.” I pointed at him. This was the problem with having an assassin father. He always got too intense. “Please?”
His stance relaxed and some of the danger bled out of his posture. He lowered his shoulders, his face softening. “Fine. But if he breaks your heart?—”
“You’ll break him, I know.” I rolled my eyes. “But you’re missing the point. Oli gave me a blowjob, I ran out of his house, and now I have a date tomorrow with this tattooed hottie.” I swung my hands around dramatically, and when I was finished, I threw them up in the air. Oli liking me made the entire thing so much worse. I’d graduated to being a complete dick. How did I not realize he wanted me? “Either way, I’m a horrible person and I’m screwed.”
Pa grimaced. “If Luke was here, he’d say you are definitely getting screwed and you’d have a choice by whom.”
