“That’s a great question,” I say into my cup of coffee. “If you’d asked me that a few days ago I’d have said nothing, but now? Now all I know is that I’m going to work my ass off to convince him into giving me a chance.”
My body freezes and I look around. Gods, I must be tired. I cannot believe I just said that to Shiloh’sdads. What the fuck is wrong with me?
“Fuck,” I say quickly, holding up my hands. “Pretend I didn’t just say that. This is so embarrassing. I’m not someone who talks aboutfeelingsand shit. You caught me off-guard.”
A big hand clasps me on the shoulder and I look up, finding Cal standing over me. He gives me a small smile.
“If you want to prove yourself, none of us are going to stop you,” he says seriously. “Shiloh has been through a lot. Sorry if we come across as over-protective asshole parents but wewon’tsee Shiloh hurt again.”
“I can’t promise I won’t hurt him,” I say right away because it’s the truth. I’m probably gonna fuck up. Everyone fucks up. “But I’ll never hurt himintentionally.” Hmm, that phrase doesn’t truly work either. We hurt each other so good last night. I clearmy throat. “I’ll do my best not to hurt himemotionally,” I say with a wince.
Scotty snorts, shaking his head at me. He gives me a knowing look that makes my cheeks flame with embarrassment.
“Good enough for me,” Scotty finally says. “Here, have something to eat,” he says, passing me a muffin.
“Thank you.” I take a bite and smile at him. It’s really fucking good. “This is the weirdest morning after I’ve ever experienced. Fuck my life.”
Cal chuckles. “Yeah, we’re right there with you, buddy. Could be worse though. You could have been an asshole.”
“Normally, I am,” I say softly. “That’s why Shiloh and I get along so well.”
Just then, the back door opens and Shiloh steps inside. He looksrough, like maybe he was crying before he came down. He looks up and freezes when our eyes meet.
My chestachesfor him. He’s the one who asked me to leave. He doesn’t get to look so upset that I left. At the same time, all I want to do is wrap him in my arms and tell him everything is going to be okay.
Fucking hell. I am so far gone on him. What the hell is wrong with me?
“Shiloh,” I say softly. I watch as his eyes widen. He looks around the room at his dads, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Fuck,” he finally says. “This is really awkward.”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Scotty says, coming around the table so he can wrap Shiloh in a hug. The two of them talk softly before Scotty pulls away and pats Shiloh’s back.
“Can we talk?” Shiloh asks softly, nodding his head towards the back door.
“Yeah. Of course,” I say, standing up. I look around at Shiloh’s parents. “Umm, thanks for the coffee and breakfast.”
“You’re so welcome,” Cal says with a grin. “I hope we’ll be seeing you around, Kei.”
“It was nice meeting you,” Reggie says, waving at me as I walk towards the back door.
Instead of going up to Shiloh’s apartment, we step outside. The cool morning air helps clear my head. Shiloh stares at his feet for a long time before he lets out a shaky breath and meets my eyes.
“Last night was,” he starts to say but stops. He bites his bottom lip. Then he shakes his head. “Fuck me sideways. Fuck, this is hard. Really, really fucking hard.”
“Hey,” I say, reaching out and touching his arm. He stares at the place we’re touching, his brows wrinkled. “It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it right now if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want to say it,” he finally says. “I’m not good at this.”
“This?”
“Anything that happens outside of sex. I thought I could get you out of my system if we fucked once. I thought I would feel better in the morning.”
“But you don’t,” I say softly, my heart picking up speed inside my chest. I do my best not to hope, but it’s hard. Especially when he’s looking up at me with those watery, brown eyes. Gods, I want to give him the world.
What a sappy fucking thing to think.
“I don’t trust easily. I don’t like opening myself up to people. I’ve done everything in my power to keep people at arm’s length. I don’t dolove.” Shiloh looks away for a moment before looking at me again. “You’redifferent. I fuckinghateit, Kei. I hate you so much. I hate you because Ican’thate you.”
