My phone vibrates on the table, startling Aspen. I pick it up, read the message, and set it back down with a sigh.
“Is that Suga?”
“You can call him Kei when we’re not online,” I say, rubbing at my eyes. “And yes, it’s him.”
“What did he want?”
“He’s inviting me on some fucked up three-way date with his roommates and their mates. Nothing sounds worse.”
“Things have been going okay with him?”
I shrug. “I guess. We’ve just been talking on the phone this week because he was going through his rut.”
Sure, at one point we had some really hot phone sex while Kei whimpered about how much he wanted to knot me, but I’m certainly not about to tell Aspen that. We’re friends but I don’t think we’re quite onthatlevel yet.
“Then why are you being so resistant?”
“Are we really at the stage where I hang out with him and his friends?”
Aspen snatches my phone off the table, reading the message. He quirks his eyebrow. “Really? Dude,” he says and I suddenly feel so attacked right now. “He’s inviting you to an arcade! And there’s going to be laser tag! Shiloh, I love you, man, but what the fuck? You made it sound like some awkward stuffy dinner. This soundsfun.”
I roll my eyes and take my phone back. “Does not.”
“Does too.”
“Doesnot.”
“Tell him he can pick you up.”
“No.”
“Do it or you’re scared.”
I send the message and put my phone back on the table, face down. I look across at Aspen. “So what? Iamscared.”
“Shit,” he says, slumping in his chair. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not. I’m pushing you.”
I bite my bottom lip, clicking the back of my teeth with my tongue ring. “I think maybe I need the push.”
“Why are you scared?”
“Past bullshit.”
“Kei isn’t that person though. He’s brand new. I think it would be best if you gave him a chance.”
“I am,” I tell him, covering my face with my hands. “I am giving him a chance. That’s why I’m saying yes to the group date. I haven’t pushed him away. I like him and I kinda hate that I like him.”
“Do you want to hear whatIthink?” I nod my head. “I think you’re really brave for opening yourself up again. I think you’re really strong, Shiloh, all on your own. I also think that you don’thaveto do everything alone. Ease into things. Keep yourself safe, but don’t completely close yourself off. If anything starts to smell of trouble, you can pull back. Plus, you have me. I’ll beat the shit out of him if he hurts you.” Aspen starts flexing his arms, showing off his muscles. “These babies ain’t just for show.”
I can’t help myself, I snort which comes out ugly. That only sets me off into an actual chuckle which quickly dissolves into giggles. The two of us laugh until I’m wiping at my eyes.
“Thanks, Aspen.”
“I’m your friend,” he says with a grin. “I’m here for you and I’m gonna make sure you’re there for me too. Okay?”
