He doesn’t need to, not when he sends a wave of calming energy through our bond and pushes it out to all four of us, but it’s not going to last. Not for me, and definitely not right now.
I’ve been a fucking basket case the last few weeks, riding the rollercoaster of emotions that is our girl while hanging on for dear life. I’ve barely been able to do that, not when it felt like Liv was slipping through our fingers, building her walls higher with each passing day. When the six of us finally got our shit together, I thought maybe things would be different. They felt different. Theyweredifferent. Better. Right? Everything felt the way it was supposed to as soon our pack was whole, but I should have known.
Who am I kidding, I did know. We all knew, and Liv basically told us in so many words that this was going to happen for one reason or another, and leave it to us to give her the best fucking reason without even trying.
“You,” I growl as I quickly duck to the right, breaking both Leon and Rune’s holds as I dart past Styx and go right for Dimitri. “This is all your fucking fault.”
I cock my fist back and let it fly the second I see the blue of his eye, his head snapping back on his neck with a muffled grunt.
“Feel better?” he asks like an asshole as he uses the back of his hand to wipe the blood from his lip. Dimitri turns his head and spits on the ground, blood mixing with his saliva in a smallpuddle at my feet. “Or do you need to do it again before we talk this out like fucking grown ups?”
“Bastard.” I swing at him again but he catches my wrist, holding it between us with ease despite the way I try jerking it away. “This is all your fault.”
“My fault?” Dimitri spits again as he glares at me. “If I’m not mistaken, you were on that goddamn roof with me,mylak. I wasn’t the only one firing Winchesters through the walls of that fucking house.”
He’s not wrong, not at all, but I don’t want to hear that right now.
I want someone to blame, I need a target for my fear and anger. One I can see and feel, one I canhurt. I want Dimitri to hurt as much as I do, Ineedhim to hurt. I want every single one of these men to experience the same fucking pain I am, the same fear and worry that’s coursing through every inch of my body.
I need my mates to feel everything I’m feeling and at the same level, so I know I’m not alone in my heartache, that I’m not the only one who’s terrified of losing our girl forever, and maybe that’s enough for us to find a way to get her back.
“We will,” Styx says as he starts rubbing gentle circles against my back, taking my hand from Dimitri then leading me to the picnic table. “If she doesn’t come home to us first, we will go get our girl and bring her here ourselves.”
I shake my head and wipe the remaining tears from my eyes. “Why would she want to be with us after finding out Dimitri and I murdered her previous pack? Liv isn’t coming back, and I can’t fucking blame her for it.”
Leon sits on the bench next to me, effectively sandwiching me between him and our beta. “Our girl is smart.”
I slowly turn to face him, my brow furrowed in confusion as I wait for him to explain.
“She needs time to process. That was big, it was heavy, and it also put an abrupt and unexpected end to the vendetta she’s had for nearly three years. That’s a lot for anyone.” Leon pushes my hair behind my ear and gives me a soft smile. “Once she can wrap her head around everything she just learned, Liv will see it for what it is.”
“Which is…”
He chuckles and pats my cheek. “A job, baby. You and D were doing your job. It wasn’t personal, neither of you had a horse in the race. You were following orders and nothing more. Liv will see that once she’s had a little time to digest things.”
“She’s not going to believe that.” As soon as the words are out, I can hear how full of shit they sound, but there’s no use in taking them back. “Liv’s been so hellbent on getting her pound of flesh for such a long time, I can’t see her just shrugging her shoulders and saying,no harm, no foul, boys, I know you didn’t mean it, you were just doing your job.I’m not sure I could do that if I were in her position.”
“You did,” Rune grunts. “You forgave Dimitri after he explained what happened between you.”
Styx nods as we all watch D pace back and forth a few feet away. “He’s right. It’s not that different. Dimitri tried to kill you, he abandoned you right after you mated and all because Boris made him do it. He broke it down for you, he risked rejection and a broken heart just so you could get closure, and you still managed to forgive him.”
“Love, my sweet boy,” Leon says as those washed out green eyes move over us, lingering briefly on each of our faces with a very satisfied smile. “You accepted what Dimitri told you as the truth because of how strong and unbreakable the love you have for each other is. It’s the same with all of us. I don’t need to have years of experience to understand that, and Liv is no different. Our girl might be a stubborn ass, but she’ll come around becauseat the end of the day, she loves all of us too much to stay away.” He kisses my temple with a grin. “Even if you and Ddidexecute the men who had her before us.”
I scowl in his face but it only lasts a second because I can’t help but hope he’s right.
They all had valid points.
I didn’t want to do it, I wanted to make him suffer for a while first, but it was easy to forgive Dimitri after he explained things, and it was only because I love him with all my heart. I’d do the same thing for any of my mates because of how fucking much I love them, and I can only hope that Liv feels the same way.
But, because I do know how stubborn she is, and that she can be extremely leery and guarded… “I want proof.”
Dimitri stops pacing mid-step and turns to face me. “Proof?”
I nod and cross my arms against my chest. “Boris kept detailed records, right? We both know that. He’ll have a copy of the written hit, one that will show Hayk ordered and paid, while your piece of shit father was, and in turn,wewere only the middle men.”
“That doesn’t change what we did, Niko, and that’s what Liv has to process and ultimately decide how to handle.”
Fucker isn’t really wrong.“I want it, anyway. The orders, the transaction records. The entire fucking file so she can see we didn’t even have names, just a number and address. I want that fucking information, Dimitri. I need it so Liv can see that we would never knowingly do anything to hurt her. Ever. It doesn’t change what happened, it’s not going to bring her previous pack back to life, but if we can at least prove to her that it really was just a job, maybe it will help her process things a little better.”
