Gifts and my own room, nice clothes and special treatment. He made me feel valued. I felt safe, but as soon as he knew that, everything changed. I was caught in his web and tangled so tightly that I didn’t get out until I was pushing thirty.
I know the things I’ve been through are not necessarily common. They aren’t normal. They don’t happen to everyone. The chances of any of it happening again are slim to none for themost part. And I know Niko is nothing like the horrible men I’ve been around before.
I’m worried he isn’t anything like the wonderful men I was around, either, and feeling anything beyond friendship for him will erase the way I feel about my pack I lost.
Again, I know that’s not how this works but I can’t help it. My reaction, the way I respond to Niko is so strong that it’s scary. Big and scary, and unknown. It’s new. It’s different, and I’m worried that could mean it’s a hell of a lot more. ThatNikois something more.
I’d also kind of like to punch him because how can someone sleep so soundly in the position he’s currently in and still look next to perfect.
His long blond hair is fanned around him, the shiny gold waves framing his face perfectly as the most serene expression paints his features. It makes his aquiline nose and chiseled jaw somehow soft and sharp at the same time. Niko’s full lips are parted a tiny bit, enough to emphasize the Cupid’s bow, and between the slight dimple in his chin and the perfect shape of his brows, the asshole looks angelic. Even while twisted into a position that is going to give him at least forty different cramps and cause a limp when he tries to stand up.
I noticed all of those things last night when I went for my lifelong ritual of peeing at 3 am, but he had the blankets tucked up under his chin and I couldn’t see everything I can now.
There is very little about him physically that reflects his designation. I knew that before simply based on height, but the miles of tattoos covering defined, rippling muscles is another difference from the male omegas I knew before.
Granted, most of them were as malnourished and abused as I was, so it might not be a fair comparison.
Still, the man I’m staring at through a tiny crack looks nothing like I expected him to.
I wish he’d cover up.
I don’t want to go out there while he’s basically naked, not when I’m thinking the thoughts running through my head.
It’s not like I’m suddenly not going to have to pee anymore and will try mounting him in his sleep or some shit. I just have no idea what I’m going to do with a closer look at Niko in all of his mostly naked glory.
Looks like I’m going to have to suck it up, though, because drooling over him is a way better option than having him wake up to find me scrubbing the rug for a far more embarrassing reason.
I hold my breath as I begin opening the door, the slats quietly clicking together while it slowly moves along the track. Once there’s enough space for me to fit through, I step out in front of the closet then pause as Niko shifts around a little, rolling and stretching so he’s facing me. When he doesn’t wake up, I tiptoe past him as fast as I can in order to prevent myself from staring at his crotch because his new position gives me a clearer shot and I’m not about to take it.
Fifteen minutes later, I’ve taken care of business and washed my hands, and I’ve psyched myself up to the point of feeling like I can race back to bed undetected.
Except, when I open the bathroom door and go to dart out, I smack face first into that same bare, tattooed chest I was ogling a few minutes ago.
“Everything, okay?” Niko asks as he grips my biceps to steady me. “Why are you running around in the middle of the night?”
“I-I’m not,” I say as I swallow hard and look up into his deep brown eyes. “Just had to pee.”
I cringe because I don’t know if we’re atsharing bodily functionslevel but he gives me a sleepy smile. “Same, but I saw you dart across the RV when I woke up. Wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
“It is.”
“Good.” His hands slide down my bare arms, his fingers blazing a trail against my skin in the softest caress.
This is not good.
It feels good. I like him touching me, I like it a whole lot, but that’s the problem.
I’m spiraling very fast, free falling right into the very thing I’m afraid of and I don’t know what to do with that.
“Well,” I say as I clear my throat. “I guess, I should probably let you get to it.”
“Sure.” Niko reaches out and flips a few pieces of hair over my shoulder before stepping aside for me to get through. “Sweet dreams, Liv.”
I nod and wrap my arms around my waist, quickly walking back to my room.
I think I’m going to have to tell Niko everything.
What happened to my pack, why I left the shelter. I’ll have to explain all of the guns and what I’m planning to do when I get to the other side of Minneapolis. It’s been hard keeping it from him already but now? With all of these stupid feelings I’m having? I need to make sure he knows everything so he can make an informed decision about what he wants to do moving forward.
