I want to be around Liv because I want to be with her, because Ineedto be with her. I want to kiss her because the last few days have shown me that we really do belong together.
And while I’m relieved to have this epiphany because it explains the intense obsession and random boners I’ve had since we met, it doesn’t suddenly knock down the walls we’ve each built. It doesn’t mean anything about our relationship is going to be easy.
I’m still going to have to work hard to get her to fully trust me, and I’m going to have to bust my ass to prove to both of us that it’s okay to fall in love with someone after you had to relearn how to love yourself.
“They’re dancingaround their fire pit,” I say with a chuckle as I set our breakfast dishes in the drying rack. “It’s nine in the morning, and those two ladies are singing and dancing around their fire. Hopefully they keep their clothes on. I like them but?—”
“We have to talk.”
I freeze with the towel in my hand, my stomach twisting over Liv’s tone.
It’s flat.
Flat and quiet, and full of anxiety.
That makes me nervous.
But I try not to let on that those four words are about to give me a panic attack and finish drying my hands.
“Sure,” I say as calmly as possible while I turn to face her. “What’s up?”
“Could you come sit down, please?”
I nod and do as she asks. “Everything okay?”
Liv fidgets with the cuff of her hoodie, pulling her hands inside while she twists the cotton between her fingers. “Not really.”
Oh, good.“So, let’s talk.”
And my god, Liv does.
“I’ve been lying about why I left. I didn’t do it because I thought it was time, I have no idea what that even means. I didn’t feel ready to leave the shelter but I had to.” She chews her lip as her eyes shift between mine. “I… My… Before, when I lived in Thief River Falls. I was, I had a pack. A sort of bonded pack, as unorthodox as we may have been. There were four of us.”
I clench my jaw and desperately try not to let my hands curl into fists the way they want to. That’s irrational. It’s stupid. It’s way out of line. I can barely stop it, though, because the idea of Liv being withanyonein any way before right now, it makes me jealous as fuck. Jealous and angry.
Both things I have no right to feel because of Dimitri but I can’t stop that, either.
If she had a pack, why the hell was she at Omega’s Haven?
I need names.
Names and locations because if they ever laid one finger on this woman, I swear to god I’ll?—
“They were murdered.” She looks away briefly, inadvertently giving me a clear view of the scar on the side of her face as she pushes her hair behind her ear. “We were attacked at our house, they protected me, I made it out because of them. We… We were a chosen pack, no soul bonds or scent matches, but we loved each other and chose to be together because of it. We had a couple of years where it was just us, after we got away…” Liv brushes a few tears from her eyes as she turns toward me again. “It was different but it was good. We were happy. Then someone murdered them and I have to know who did it. I have to find out who killed my mates so I can make things right. I owe them so much more than that but it’s all I’ve got.”
This is an entirely new emotional level for me.
I am so fucking jealous of three people I have never and will never meet because they were murdered, I could punch something. But my heart hurts for Liv. It hurts because I can practically feel her pain over their loss. I hate that she went through that.
I know what it’s like to some extent and regardless of the differences, losing someone you love changes you.
“I’ve struggled a lot with guilt. Over surviving, over a lot of things that I’ve felt since it happened, but one thing has been consistent.”
“Your need for revenge.” I nod because I think I’m finally starting to understand this woman. At least, more than I did before.
“I have to know who killed them, Niko, but I need to be honest with you because I don’t think this is going to be easy.” She chuckles a little and shakes her head. “I actually think this is going to be really fucking hard. And dangerous. I want you to know everything I do because…” Liv chews her lip and dropsher eyes. “I care about you. I care about you a lot, more than I’m willing to admit right now. I don’t want anything to happen to you and if you know what I’m doing then you’ll be able to decide?—”
“I’m with you, Liv.” I reach out and take her hand, startling her a bit before I see her relax. “Difficult, dangerous, deadly. It doesn’t matter. I’m with you, I’ll help you get your pound of flesh, and I’ll still be by your side when it’s all said and done. I’m not going anywhere.”
