Is it pain? Uncertainty? Confusion or hesitation?
The expression on his handsome, freckled face is puzzling, and that’s why I decide to hear him out.
“Staying in here, it’s going to be a problem as soon as Ransom checks the cameras in the hallway. He’s on his way back upstairs and that’s what my brother always does before he goes home for the night.” The beta lifts his hands as I narrow my stare. “I won’t let him be your problem, but it might be a good idea for the three of you to get out of here sooner than later. If you have the keys to your truck, I can?—“
Olive reaches into my pocket and pulls out the keys then throws them to the redhead without uttering a word.
“I’ll pull around to the back exit, it’s at the end of this hall.” He looks at me a little longer before his eyes quickly move between Olive and Nikolai. “You should probably get them in the camper. I can drive you wherever you need to go. My placeisn’t far from here if you want, there are woods behind it, or, whatever you decide, just let me know when you come outside.”
I give him a quick nod then take a deep breath as he disappears from view.
I am not good with people.
Not in any way but especially when they’re trying to be nice and helpful.
Both of which the beta exhibited in spades.
“His name is Styx,” Olive says softly as she nuzzles my chest. “But you know that.” I can feel her smile through the fabric of my shirt. “I like him, but you know that, too.”
I do.
I know both of those things, just as I know the beta reciprocates the sentiment.
I know all of that just like I know he’s another person I’m not good enough for but most likely can’t argue out of my life now that he’s in it.
And I know I am going to regret that once I ruin him the same way I ruin everything I touch.
CHAPTER 20
LIV
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW IT FEELS - TOM PETTY
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Niko nods, silently annoyed that I keep asking him that, but he’s not going to say as much.
Or anything at all.
He’s been worried, and irritated with me, and with the way I’ve been behaving for so long that he probably thinks saying anything is pointless. I know he still feels the distance I’m forcing between us, and I know he got hopeful when I lost my shit over his panic attack.
I felt it in our bond.
I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what was happening but I knew it was something negative, and I practically mowed Styx down in order to find my omega.
Since then, I’ve been all over him in a way that is driving both of us nuts; a helicopter mate to the nth degree. After all the space I’ve been putting between us, no one is enjoying this, especially while I’m making a mess by trying to reestablish that distance as I simultaneously lose the fight against my instincts to permanently insert myself directly up Niko’s ass.
Talk about mixed signals.
Things are not going very well, to say the least, and I think my omega wants to strangle me as much as I’d like to strangle myself.
“You know you don’t have to–”
“I’m fine,” he grunts as we weave through tables toward the stock room. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”
I hate it when he lies to me.
Niko is not fine, he hasn’t been for a week now, and his anxiety has spiked just since pulling into the parking lot. I know him too well to think it’sfirst day jitters, but he hasn’t explained the panic attack, or his increased anxiety, so he’s not helping his cause by keeping me in the dark.
