My shoulder and hip take the brunt of my fall and I cry out as I curl into a ball waiting for Alexander to grab me and toss me back on the bed. My bum hurts so badly. It’s burning hot and it stings against the cold floor. My body throbs all over now.
“Get dressed.” His tone is low, his heavy breathing from his excursions.
A whimper escapes past my lips and I reach up blindly, finding the sheet and pulling it over the bed to cover my naked body from him.
He walks around the bed and looks down at me, disappointment and disgust written across his features. He growls and throws my clothes at me, and I twist my head just in time before they land on my face.
“Get dressed and meet me outside before your friend arrives to open the store.”
I pull the bundle of clothes off my face and look up at him with watery eyes.
He shakes his head as his lips curl. “Pathetic.” He snarls as he walks away, leaving me alone on the floor.
Clutching my clothes to my chest, I wipe my eyes and try to stifle my sobs. I should have never stayed here. I should havetalked my feeling out with Helen and gone home. Not only have I exposed my only safe place, but I’ve also put Helen in jeopardy as well.
I sit up, flinching when my bottom makes contact with the cold wooden floor. I grab the bed and pull myself up, wincing as my rear end touches the linen and burning even more when I move my leg up to put on my leggings. My hip throbs and my shoulder hurts as I lift them carefully up over my butt, and suck in a breath.
The tears run hot down my cheeks. I pull my t-shirt on grab my sweater off the floor, pick up my purse and make my way out to the front desk. Alexander’s car is parked right in front of the building and I contemplate leaving my phone but think better of it. I go around the counter, take it out of the small black bag, and jot a quick note to Helen, telling her I’m okay, sorry for the mess I left the bedroom in and that I’ll contact her as soon as I can.
I go to the front door and stand there examining the blacked-out windows of Alexander's personal car. He matches his car. Black and soulless. He didn’t bring Carlos with him tonight, he came on his own to prove to me he will always find me. He will always win in our battle of wills.
My head buzzes, my heartbeat rings loud in my ears as the front door fazes in and out of my vision, and I struggle to keep my emotions in check. The void floats so close to the surface that the temptation to fall into its sweet comfort is all I can think about. I’d have the peace I seek from this world, and Alex will have the little puppet I'll leave behind. The one he craves to own.
Putting my hand on the cold brass doorknob, I twist the handle with a trembling hand and pull open the door, the bells jingling above my head. I close my eyes as the tears fall. That sound used to make me feel safe; now it only signals my damnation. The musty, damp air of the early morning light fills my lungs, and I move forward toward the car to accept my fate.
Stepping up to the car I open the door, sliding into the passenger seat beside Alex. I'm careful of my tender backside as I ease myself in and strap on my seat belt.
Alexander doesn’t look at me as he holds out his hand and says, “Phone.”
He shoves my phone in his pocket, puts the car in gear and proceeds to drive out of the alley.
The silent tears don’t stop. I wipe my nose on my sleeve, staring out the window. Alex still doesn’t speak or look at me. He called me pathetic, and I am. I ran away, crying like a child, as he spanked me like one. I wipe my face using the cuffs of my sweater since I’m too afraid to ask for a tissue or speak at all for fear he’ll start to yell again.
I feel like the old guitarist; I’m struggling to find that last effort to find any motivation to stay. To grasp for a reason this life I live is worth the effort to even try. I lean my head against the window, letting the cold glass ease the pounding in my temple.
We reach the gate to Alex’s mansion and Alexander stares straight ahead as he presses the button. The gate opens, and we resume our drive in silence. He pulls up to the bottom of the stairs and gets out, slams the driver's door shut and walks inside, leaving me alone in the dark purple of the morning light.
I watch him as he takes the stairs two at a time, tossing the keys to Carlos who has rushed out the door at the sound of the car arriving looking torn between following Alex inside or coming to help me out of the car.
Alex doesn’t wait for him to decide, he goes inside closing the door in Carlos’ face.
Carlos looks up at the sky, his shoulders dropping heavily. I wipe my eyes once more with my sleeves and reach for the door handle. I get out and stand on my quaking legs, and Carlos looks down at me from the top of the stairs.
My heart cracks once again, as I see the helplessness in his eyes as a look of pity and concern crosses his face.
He starts down the stairs toward me. I can’t move. I am frozen by the impending storm that will be unleashed once I go inside.
Carlos reaches out to me and goes to wrap me in his arms. As tempting as that would be, it would make me fall apart and I’m afraid if I do that, I won’t be able to stop where my mind begs me to go. I hold my hand up, stopping him.
“Tesoro.” He whispers.
I wipe my eyes once more. My sleeves are soaked, and it doesn’t help dry my eyes much as I sidestep his tempting embrace. With a trembling voice, I say, “I’ll be okay, Carlos.”
As I move past him, he grabs my wrist. I stop, but I don’t look back at him. I am still focused on the door where Alex’s wrath is waiting for me.
“He was worried sick about you, Piccolo. I’ve never seen him so...” he takes his time finding the right word.
“Scared.”
