Yep, we were full steam ahead with the planning of our wedding. At our pregnancy announcement party, we already knew the date of the original baby shower as we locked it in with our event planner and caterer. Toward the end of the party, we told everyone that the baby shower would actually be our wedding. The love from the family was amazing.
Dr. Frog came into the room with a warm smile. “Alright, Mommy and Daddy, congratulations on your little girl. Pril, I know we’ve talked in the past about your desire for a daughter,” the doctor said.
“Thank you, Dr. Frog. I’m so excited. I’ve wanted this for so long,” Pril confirmed.
Dr. Frog nodded. “I know. Well, let’s get to the details of how your pregnancy is going. Pril, I hoped that your placenta would have moved up by this point, but it has not. Now, it still is not covering your cervix, so we are not at a worst-case scenario.”
“If it’s not the worst case, then what is it? What does that mean for Pril and our lil girl?” I asked her.
She shifted on her doctor’s stool. From her expression, whatever she was about to say would fuck Pril’s mental up. “What it means is that we may need to change your birth plan.”
Chapter 8
Pril
Fuck My Birth Plan . . .
I knew it was too good to be true.The last thing that I wanted to hear was that I needed to change my birth plan. I wanted to have my daughter naturally. I didn’t want to be backed into a C-section. “Well, is there still time? Like can’t she move up still?”
“Yes, of course, it’s possible.” Dr. Frog spoke with uncertainty, so I knew there was a but coming. “But I want to prepare you for if she doesn’t. I know you wanted a natural birth, and I do want that for you. We have to discuss all the options.”
Tafari wrapped his arm around my waist from where he stood next to me. He kissed my forehead when I glanced at him. “You and our little girl are going ta be fine. We just want her ta get here safely, and I want you to be fine.”
I knew he worried because of the subpar care that women of color sometimes got during their pregnancies. It was a blessing that we had not experienced that. Dr. Frog had been amazing all of the years that she had been my doctor. Tafari made it known that if anything happened to me or our child that something would happen to the doctor and medical personnel. That wouldput fire under me if I was a doctor or nurse to ensure that the patient got amazing care.
“Pril, your little girl is also a little underweight. It’s not a major deal right now, but I want to keep a close eye on that as well.” Dr. Frog reached her hand out and covered mine. “I don’t want you to overthink this. Let me do all of the thinking.”
That was easier said than done. “Well, I already knew that she was underweight when Amber told us how much she weighed. My Ziggy told me what the weight should be.”
Dr. Frog’s forehead creased. The confusion across her face was real. “Who is Ziggy?”
Tafari sucked his teeth. I held in my laughter at his disdain for Ziggy. Sometimes when I came home from work, the store, or anywhere for that matter, I would ask Ziggy a question. There were times that he wouldn’t respond. When I checked why, I would find that someone unplugged him. I knew it was my man.
“Dr. Frog, Ziggy is our AI speaker from the rainforest. That’s her go to when she wants to know something,” Tafari said. His eyes didn’t leave me.
My doctor laughed. She pointed her finger at me. “Pril, I don’t want you going to the internet to get your questions answered. I am your resource for all of your questions.”
Tafari chuckled. “Maybe she’ll listen to you. I say that I get side eyes.”
For the rest of the appointment, we went over things that Tafari and I needed to know. Most of the conversation I honestly didn’t pay attention to. My mind was stuck on the fact that there was a chance that I would have to change my birthing plan. I talked about my birthing plan with Nicole, Lacie, Mama Shayla, and my mama ad nauseam. Now I had to go back and tell them that there was a change. I hated this for me and my daughter.
Girls’Night . . .
“Pril, I know it’s not what you want, but like Tafari said, it’s about getting our girlie bean here,” Lacie said. “You know I wanted to have the twins naturally, but that just wasn’t in the cards for me.”
We were at Nicole’s house for our girls’ night. I loved my besties. After every doctor’s appointment that I had to check on my baby, we had a girls’ night. They would never fully know how much these nights helped my mental. This whole pregnancy, I tended to spiral.
I felt like at any time it could all slip away. I had no real control in this. Sure, I could follow the doctor’s directive to the letter and still lose it all. It was absolutely nerve-racking. Tafari tried to limit how much he hovered and fussed at me, but I knew that he wanted to go to my ass sometimes.
Earlier in my pregnancy when the doctor told me to limit my appointments, I didn’t. That lasted all of three days before he logged onto my appointment calendar and canceled appointments. He put a note on there that said for the time being I had limited availability due to my pregnancy. I was pissed until my mama got me all the way together.
She made it known that it was not only my responsibility to protect myself and my child, but it was Tafari’s as well. When I didn’t want to listen when it came to my health and the health of my baby, he had the authority to override my decisions. I couldn’t be mad at my man for taking care of me.
“I know the only thing that matters is my baby girl getting here. I just really wanted the real mommy experience,” I told them. Disappointment soured my beautiful face.
Nicole’s head bucked back. “Bitch, I will lightly slap you. The method of birth does not take away from the real mommy experience. I don’t give a damn if your baby had to be put into another woman’s body. Everyone’s real mommy experience looks different, but it is still a real mommy experience.”
I didn’t say anything for a beat. “Why are you so damn violent? You have to slap me lightly though.”
